Working Moms Refuge | Wisdom of Mothers

Family
Career
Art of Juggling
Single Moms
Dad's Voice
News
Health
Bookshelf
Recipes
Sports Mom

Archives
Contact Us

Discussion Lists
Wisdom of Mothers
Resources

Family Relationships

We asked Moms:
How do you reserve time in your week to take care of you?

I get up early! My daughters (5 yrs & 19 mths) don't usually wake up until 7am, my husband leaves the house at 6am, so I get up when he leaves for my quiet time and coffee. Every now and then my husband will take the girls out for a couple of hours or even just an hour so that I can have some peace.
Also, my husband is in the millitary and is gone a lot! so my girlfriend and I trade off taking each others kids, sometimes for an hour or 2, and sometimes for the entire day so we can clean our houses good.
-- Jenny

I'm a single Mom with three kids. MY time comes after they get in bed. I spend that time either with someone special or doing girl stuff...you know, manicure, soaking in the tub, that kind of stuff. Or I get ready for bed and read.
-- Amy

Every Thursday night I meet with a group of women for 3 hours and we do crafts and visit. It isn't an organized craft, we just bring what we are working on and mostly we visit and laugh. It is a wonderful boost for my week and you can tell if I have missed it. On the rare occasion when I don't want to go dh tells me I have to. Makes me sane.

-- Shana

TUFF ONE. I HAVE A DAY CARE SO FINDING TIME TO MYSELF IS HARD. I HAVE A GREAT HUSBAND WHO LETS ME ESCAPE FOR AN HOUR EVERYDAY. HE TAKES CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE I TAKE A TIME OUT.LUNCH WITH FRIENDS OR WHATEVER.
-- JEAN

I make sure that the kids go to bed at a reasonable time each and every evening, (8:30pm). This allows me to have a couple of hours to pamper myself, or to spend time with my husband. When it's not possible to get the kids to bed at this time, I set my alarm clock for 6:00am, and get up with about 90 minutes to myself. It's amazing how just a little time for yourself makes you a much better mom when they need you!
-- Christina

Being the mother of twins doesn't give me much time but I do take the time out every other week to go get my nails done. It makes me feel good and it gives me a break. My husband is great and always lets me go and he watches the kids.
-- Alison

One evening or two evenings a week I think of something that I want to do for me whether it be my nails, taking a bubble bath at lengthy phone conversation, going shopping whatever..after my daughter goes to sleep I sit for a few minutes and relax and clear everything out of my mind (i.e. laundry, dishes or whatever) and then I go do something for me without one thought of what I SHOULD be doing and I enjoy without any guilt. This is difficult to do but the more you do it the easier it gets and the more you enjoy it and feel good about yourself.
-- Wendy

While my babies (age 2 and 3) are napping, I take at an hour and a half to work out every day. I lock my bedroom door and hit the exercise bike with a vigor. My older kids know that this is Mommy's time, and they are not to disturb me except for extreme emergencies (i.e. they are too baldy injured to dial 911 themselves).

Every night after all the kids are in bed, I take about 1/2 hour for Bible study, prayer, and meditation.
-- Kathy

My Husband is a Midwife and one who really helps me to
take time out for myself and I have over half of everyday
free to do anything I choose.
I really feel without my Husbands Compassion and Intuition
that is so Complimentary to my Intuition and Spontanious Needs
I would not be able to fully experience my Motherhood as such
an Easy and delightful experience it has been.
The Wisdom of Parenting over the Wisdom of just Women as Mothers sharing
there seperative experiences has aided me in being a True Mother/Parent.
-- Tara Kumara

I make sure that my children take 2 hour naps everyday
-- Stefanie Boyd

I have 3 children and a husband and I also run an in-home daycare so, finding time for myself is difficult. But,I love to do gardening. That is my escape from things. I just get out there and get my hands dirty. Even if my children want to help me on a weekend. I give them a place to dig and they are occupied so I feel like I'm getting a well deserved break. :) Kimberlei
-- Kimberlei

Funny you should be asking this question! I was listening to the audio tape "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff..." just yesterday
and decided after hearing this suggestion, that I would take a couple of hours from of my morning sleep, get up
before my family and do whatever I wanted to do for ME...no laundry, no housework. This being my first day, I got up at six, showered (without the usual audience of little eyes!)
and was even able to shave! Then, after dressing, I got a bowl of cereal and glass of juice, went on my
back patio, and ate my breakfast while I watched the sunrise. It was absolutely beautiful. I went inside, read one and a half chapters
in a book I have been trying to read for five years now (my oldest's age). After reading, I went and layed down by my sweetie and kissed
him awake.

As a homemaker, wife, and mother of three children, I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have a connection with my spirit and my own "self"
without having the worries that accompany my usual morning routine. Rather than rolling out of bed and into the kitchen to meet the immediate demands
of hungry kids and watch my day progress in the same chaotic manner as every other day, I was able to do something for me and not anyone else.

Determined to be a woman happy with my life twenty years from now and not regret what I should have done for myself, I am going to fill my own
cup, while pouring for the others. My health and happiness will, in turn, help me to be an even better wife and mother.

Oh, how I look foward to tomorrow's sunrise!
-- Michelle

I am a divorced mom with two babies (2 and 6 mo). I always make sure to wake up at least an hour before they do, which means 5am. I spend this time doing whatever I want, as long as it's not housework. It gives me peace to be able to handle the day. It sure makes the difference!
-- Holly

I make sure that I am up at least a half hour before my son get's up for school, and drink my coffee, and just stare out the window. We have a nice front porch, and whenever possible, yes even when it's snowing, I sit out there. After the kids go to bed, or during a rain storm it is my little hideaway. Dh joins me when he's home too. I work 4 days a week after dh gets home, and sometimes I don't get home till midnight, or later. I usually enjoy sitting on my glider and unwinding before I go inside.
-- Heather

excersize and a candle bath
-- Pamela

I am a full-time mother and full-time daycare provider. My time is at a premium. I am always planning something. If it isn't dinner, it is projects to keep the kids from killing each other. But I do make time for me. I try to take an hour each evening after dinner to do what I want to do. It may be chatting with a friend online or working on my latest crochet project. This is the time my husband spends with the kids. After the kids are in bed, then I have my quality time with my husband which I feel is just as important as time for me.
-- Melissa

At least 4 times a week I get up at 5:30 am and go walking
with my daughter and a friend. We get to TALK...which
is really relaxing.
-- lezlie

My husband is a big help in this, thank goodness! One night every week is all mine -- and it's sacred! I try to be flexible about the night (unless I have specific plans), but pretty much no matter what, I take one evening a week all to myself. I leave the house as soon as dh gets home from work. He does supper, baths, bedtime, everything. I go out to eat, shopping, memory album workshops, whatever I feel like. And I don't come home until everybody is in bed! It's a time that I look forward to all week. If I didn't have this time alone -- to just concentrate on ME -- I think I would go insane!!! LOL:o)
-- Barbie

THAT'S REALLY A TOUGH ONE SINCE I HAVE CHILDREN RANGING IN AGE FROM 2-23 AND LET'S NOT FORGET A HUSBAND. USUALLY THOUGH WHEN EVERYONE IS IN BED, I'LL TAKE SOME TIME ON MY PC TO CHAT WITH THE MANY TERRIFIC FRIENDS I'VE MADE OVER THE INTERNET. WE SHARE SO MUCH. WE TALK ABOUT GOD, FAMILY, LOVE, CRISIS", FINANCIAL MATTERS, SCHOOL. KIDS, IN LAWS, POEMS, STORIES. YOU NAME IT WE'VE BEEN THERE. WHAT BETTER WAY TO UNWIND AND RELAX THAN TO HAVE A CUP OF TEA AND DISCUSS MATTERS OF THE MIND WITH SOMEONE WHO WON'T JUDGE YOU BY THE WAY YOU LOOK, BUT LIKES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.
-- MARY ANN

Wow, a tuff one. I have 4 boys of my own, plus I have my own in-home daycare, 2 cats, and THE best husband in the world.
The only time I have for myself is when I go to the bathroom. The only time I really feel is relaxing is when my husband and I are in bed reading and this is very rewarding too.
I sit and pray in the morning on the front step while waiting for my kids to come.
Lori
-- Lori

The easiest way I have found to do this is to enforce BED TIMES and make sure I have at least an hour to unwind before I go to bed myself. I usually spend this time doing what I want to do, whether it's on the computer, reading, watching a favorite show, etc. Occasionally, I will do things I HAVE to do, but I can do them without having to listen to children trying to get my attention.
-- Anji

Every Friday I made it my day. This is when I either got a babysitter out of the home or when the girls got older and were in school full time.
On this day I had bubble baths with candles, music and a book. I then oatmealed me up to soften my skin, shaved my legs, read, did the cuticles on my hands and feet.
I would take a nice frothy orange drink and just sit back and relax. While I was in the tub I would do a mudpack on my face. When I had finished I would lightly spray my body with a spritzer and relish the zing I felt. Now it was time for my feet to be taken care of. Get out the pumice stone girls and scrub away the dry skin. When done add some peppermint lotion and you feel ready to dance the day away. Next, file and paint your toe nails and fingenails. Remember, no housework or children on this day. Use TV dinners or just have a junk food evening for the kids and a movie and you just let everything wash over you. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
Now, go do your hair, play with it, color it, cut it???, just do anything with it. Now go get a good book or movie, phone friends you have not talked to in a long time, or a stroll in the park or just lay around and do NADA!
Promise to do this every Friday or any other convenient day.
Good for the soul and mind.
Don't feel GUILTY...we deserve it. I am still doing it while raising 3 grandchildren, and boy does it feel wonderful.
-- Sharon

I'am a widow and have raised my last two daughters by myself. I take hot tub baths with oils and candle light. I go for 2 hours with 16 women in the Spanish club and have brunch and chat, (all night Kmart is a life saver I shop at night because I also run a day care during the day.I pray and read my Bible I TAKE MINI VACATIONS (2 MINUTES OR SO) AND DO BREATHING EXERCISES IT WORKS FOR ME!(my assistant helps me to be able to get away.)

-- SILVIA

A woman of 50 whom I am, the time for myself is little and what do I do with it I can't remember when I had a good time alone. This computer is one of the great releases that is for me in life I just got it and I find that I can run all over the country and world with it it is full of interesting data and input and I crave it for the freedom of being oneself with some sort of self respect.
Thank you for your site I will visit it often.
Pat
-- Patricia

I get up at 5:30 Mon-Fri (6:45 Sat, Sundays off for church) and power-walk for 40 min. with a friend. I come home and have a few minutes of quiet time before my husband and I have to get ready for work and ready our 5 yr. old daughter for pre-K. Luckily, I work only 5 min. from home -at an elementary school. I am fortunate to get lots of "down time" during the summer, holidays, etc. God has blessed me with a job I enjoy and hours that allow for lots of family time. I am sure to include prayer and Bible study in my quiet time either in the A.M. or after my daughter is in bed (8:30 p.m.). I also do the majority of my housework on Fridays, from the time I hit the door at 4:00 until after dinner. That way I don't have as much to do on Saturday; what is left my husband handles Fri night or Sat morning. My husband also does almost all of the laundry and does 1-2 loads each evening to keep it from piling up. I also find that if my husband works overtime, late, etc. and I feel the need for quiet time, my daughter and I can work on a craft together and she is then more satisfied playing alone for a longer span of time while Mommy is reading, etc. We are a strong, connected Christian family who appreciates the value of personal time and space. I learned from my mama, who had 4 girls, that if you don't make some time for yourself somehow, you will be NUTS! And as the saying goes, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!" (and Daddy added - "And if Daddy ain't happy, who cares?!)
-- Hope

MAKE IT HAPPEN!
I have FDC in my home all day, so at 5:30 (weather permitting) I get on my bike with my 4 dogs in my bike/wagon and ride around the neighborhood for at least 15 minutes. Then after the kids are settled, I hop into the bath for reading time! But I have to make it happen!!!
-- Kathryn

I DON"T!
-- Lori

We have a whole family night off every week. We call it "Happy Hour" (My husband and I met while I was a bartender) We don't eat any junk food or dessert all week, and then on Friday morning, when I am dropping off my 4yr and 3yr old, we make a list of what they want for "Happy Hour". It is usually chips, pop & cherry blasters, but we manage to include strawberries, grapes and watermelon too! We rent kids videos and we all pig out together, no baths and fall asleep on the couch. Hubby and I usually have nice easy hor's doevres and some wine. I'm a full time Computer Programming student and this is my one night to "turn off and chill out"
-- Debbie

Although it takes a lot of discipline on my part, I get up 45 min earlier than everyone else and I take time to exercise. I feel so much better about myself and I really find that I can deal with the stressers of the day much more effectively.
I also like to take time out to just look in the mirror and fix up my hair or makeup. I think with all the hassles and business in the day it's easy to forget we (mothers) need to look and feel good too.
Kelly (mom of 2, ages 3 and 9)
-- Kelly

Alwlays do the kids baths at night, never in the AM.
Make extra dishes to freeze for easy meals.
Always sort the coupons before going to the store.
Make menus for a whole month in advance.
Get enough laundry baskets and keep everyone's stuff separate. Before and after washing. It's easier for the kids too.
Get lunch money,clothes, folders, backpacks, signatures out and lined up on school nights. Makes mornings a breeze.
-- Karen

I have a wonderfully supportive husband and a great group of friends! Every other Friday night
my husband and I have a "date". Even if we go to
the hardware store and then to dinner, just the time alone to talk is a much needed boost. We have 3 children, 14,12, and 6. It's easy for our relationship to get off track if we don't make the time to be together.

The alternating Fridays, my girlfriends and I get together to scrapbook. We have a glass (or 2) of wine and brainstorm with our scrapbooks, attend classes together, and enjoy each others company.
It's so wonderful to have female friends to share
things with.

This same group also plans a yearly "girls week-end". We've gone to San Francisco, the Oregon coast, Eastern Washington, and now we're
planning a trip to Mexico. We all need time to be no ones wife, mother, or daughter. It's fun to just be one of the girls sometimes.

-- Kim

Just about every Saturday is my day. Since before our little girl was born my husband has told me Saturday was my day to do whatever. Now with a four year old I need Saturday to run errands and take care of things for myself. Since I am a stay at home mom I need a little time for just me and Saturday is a great time. My daughter looks forward to spending the day with Daddy and look forward to some quiet time.
-- Karen

Being a mother of an autistic child, It can be sometimes hard to make time for myself. I work 2 jobs: in home daycare and an receptionists in an emergency room. But when I get even 30 minutes to my self, I take a warm bubble bath lined with candles, glass of wine, and some meditation tapes. This is pure relaxation for me.
-- Lisa

To unwind, I make sure that I exercise when I get home from work. A 45mins. work out keeps the stress on a normal level. Plus the fact that I have a very supportive husband who loves to cook to dinner time is not a problem for me since he usually volunteer to do it!!
-- Patricia

The only way for me to get time is to make time!
I am a mother of three 7-12, and by far the best
way for me is to make the effort and get up early.
It's tough to drag myself out of bed (I work at nite) but I can make as much time for myself as I want, and it's well worth it.
-- susan

I read while my little boy, Lucas is playing beside me.
I look forward to a nice hot shower at the end of the day.
-- Maria

I either go to the movies, or to the book store for my time!! I have also been known to stay in the shower for about 20 minutes if I can get away with it!!
-- Stacy

The best thing I have done is stick to the children's bed times - both children are in bed by no later than 9:00. In order to this, their bedtime routine is started at 7:30! From 9 - 11 I have to myself. Also, I try to get some household tasks done while the children are awake so I won't spend all the "me" time doing housework!
-- Renee

I keep a day planner just like high powered lawyers do. I write in time for myself, for my husband and I and special time for each of my children.
-- Kirsten

At least once or twice a week I leave the kids with my husband (or a friend) and go to the library. The library is a quite place. I sit and read or just walk around and look at books. I basically veg. It helps!

-- Terri

I work out of my home as a family Daycare Provider.
I usually try to make time for myself in the morning.
I get up at least an hour before anyone arrives
(sometimes I'm up by 5:00am) so I can sit on the
porch with nothing but a cup of coffee and my own
thoughts. The past two weeks I have been joined by a
Mother Robin who has nested in my hanging plant and is
patiently awaiting the arrival of 3 babies.
Also, during nap time at the daycare, if I'm lucky enough
they all nap together and I use that time to relax and
take a little break.

-- Teri

My daughter was born at 7.6 lbs. Now at 11 months she is 13.13. She has little interest in food.

The doctors have run tests and we are awaiting the answers.

Do you have any ideas how to stimulate her appitete?
-- Robin

Aside from the obvious time I find to shower and occasionally paint my nails, I water my gardens in the evening. I take pride in my plants, and know that this needs to be done daily. It is not a task that requires much of my brain power, so I can use the time to think or pray or just breathe. I need this time every day. It is something I know I do just for me.
-- Angela

We recently took our 5 children out to our valentines dinner. My husband finds going out to dinner with the kids very stressful, where I look at it as a chance to get out of the house. So this time to make it a little bit more enjoyable for my husband the kids and I decided to play pass the sentence or word. It was quiet and very funny, because we always let our 2 year old be the one to say what the sentence or word was. His interuptation was much different than what was said so it made us all laugh, and time go by quickly while we waited for our food.
-- Lisa

I'am a true believer in bringing somthing to occupy
your childern weather it be crackers and butter
or just a small toy or even a pen and a old receipt
and pratice writing thier name or nubers,ABC's.If
none of the above work then taking a small trip to the bath
room to get freshen up for breakfast,lunch,or
dinner which ever it maybe.
Michelle
-- Michelle

When ever we have extra money I invite my mother
or my husband,or another close friend to go have
lunch.Having another adult to talk with and them
not talking baby talk or,even talking back without
a smart comment is a good thing. I truely look
foward to that little extra!
Michelle
-- Michelle

This is probably not the response that you're expecting, but based on information that I have recently learned, I'd like to rephrase the question to: "How do you make eating out (in general) an enjoyable experience?" The reason I am posing this is because I just found out, and it was confirmed by many folks on the Internet and in my homeschool support group, that many (most?) restaurant workers add body fluids andwho knows what else to our restarant meals. This most often happens, I am told, if you have complained about the food. Pretty gross!
-- Jamaurie

I either have my time after babies bed time or before she wakes up. I take care of my flower garden...this is a peaceful thing I do for myself. Having pretty flowers to look at every day makes life better. Especially knowing I planted them and grew them myself and they are thriving because of my care. I also love to escape into a good book. I have a long commute to work and back every day and I try and focus on looking at how beautiful the mountains and the sky are rather than all the cars on the freeway. I find that when I focus on nature I always find it helps me escape the stress of daily life. Nature really does it for me!
-- TYE

Hi everybody!
I have a question for anyone doing day care out of their home. I have this little girl that is almost 3 years old and for the first time is bieng taking care by someone new and I was wondering if any of you have ever Encounter a child who is so co-depended on ther family members that when she come to me, she just fills so home sick that she cry's real tears like she fills that her mom is not coming back for her, and then starts to asks for her mom like every 5 minutes , or asks for the other family members , does'nt allow herself to enjoy time with the other childern which are her age. It's been 6 weeks and we have had some small progress and my question is does anyone have any Ideal's on how to help this child adjust?. Normally I would have given notice by now but I fill bad for the child and know that it's hard for her but I realize that I have my work cut out for me. ( by the way her mother is an unwed mother who lives at home with her parents and siblings) Please Help
-- Lynn

As I want to open my facality for kid friendly
any suggestions for menu decor play items
-- charles

A kid friendly food establishment needs imput. can any of you moms post what you believe would be a kid friendly athmosphere for resturant. My staff would like to learn about age range for your suggestions. As my childrens dad can explore this from my point . It is from the accross the table we are seeking to try and make their visit
a relaxing experience. help appreciated.
thanks
-- charles

I have no time for myself. This is only possible when my husband is away and my 4 month old daughter is asleep, which is NEVER. My husband acts like my other child and is extremely demanding and lazy. I feel extremely stressed!!! I'm ussually taking care of my daughter, cooking, cleaning and then dealing with my husband's sloppy ways. I am also a full time working mom.

-- Sara

Aloha, I've been married for 18 years and I'm only 37 years old with two teenagers. One girl and one boy. I've started my own Housekeeping business about 6 years ago and I've just started college. Getting my Associates in International Business. I must say it was not easy for me or my family but I find that I have more time to myself now that my children are older. They have grown to be well mannered, trustworthy and now, are my best friends. Time comes for everyone, just have to know what to do when it does so it doesn't bypass you without you knowing. Take care and godbless all of you.(Mahalo)
.....Kelly
-- Kelly

Hello to all, I'am a single mother of two, a boy and a girl. For 5 years I've been in the "Trucking" business as a driver (local). I spent alot of years before that drinking my life away. Eventually I surrendered and have not only found a new way of life I've found God and I have a profession. In march I was terminated from a job that basically eliminated my position there, after three years. For the past 4 months I've been struggling trying to find and keep work. I feel like I'm being challenged, to just give up. I've made so many different arrangments with bill collectors that my time has run out. Friday I expect to get 205.00 from a temp service that barely uses me. I feel so confused, angry and afraid that I don't know what's going to happen fast enough for my kids and I. Thank God for their sweet spirits, and understanding. I'd be lost without them. I just needed some other mothers to hear me, that may be going through rough times
-- Robin

I have a 12 and 11 yrs old. Caregiver to two elderly parents.
I work part-time in nursing and cleaning homes to get by. Luckily
I am able to rearrange my schedual to meet everyones needs. To meet my
needs, I have had to learn to practice extreme personal care.
When I get up in the morning I have my coffee by myself out back. Listen to the birds,
watching the sun etc... feel the grass between my toes. Savour every moment I can. At the end of the day,
I spend my time reading alot of books on personal growth or spirituality. Great book to read Live the Life That You Want.
I take two hours a day for myself. It is a must. Not always successful, but, whether it be a soak in the tub, a book,
quite moment with a cup of tea. Prioritize. Me first. If I don't take care of me first, I won't be able to care
of the rest. EXTREME PERSONAL CARE. That's the key.
-- Joan

I am an 18 year old with a fiance and my 11 year old sister. Now maybe I should not be sharing in this room of "mothers", but I do understand the meaning of NO time for myself. My fiance says that it is my own fault that I don't do more for myself. Although, I just am not sure when I can in my time schedual. I am also a full time college student holding 14 units, and work part time. For now I believe that when it is quiet and all three of us are sitting on the couch waching t.v. is as close as I am going to get. You know what I wouldn't change it for anything though.
-- Lena

What are the top three concerns of working mothers for their children?
-- Cindy

Time for me huh? I have a 2 1/2 year old son, I work 2 jobs and take courses at a local University. My son's bedtime is 8pm sharp every week night, allowing Mommy time until I fizzle into bed around 10-10:30. Unfortunately I do alot of housework in this time, but call me crazy, I find housework theraputic. I'm a 23 yr. old single Mom, not exactly what you expected huh? I can NOT relaxe without the house being clean, and when it's done, I feel a sense of accomplishment. My second job is waitressing on Sat. evenings, it's a sociable job and it's about as brainless as you can get. My son spends the night at one of his grandparents as well, so when I get out of work around 11pm, it's my time. I go to the movies or sit home with some nice music and a glass of merlot. I would suggest a second job like mine for anyone needing sociable, adult time and time alone.
-- Aneesa

Time for myself?! What does that mean? Does anybody have a dictionary?
-- Leila

Time for myself? I feel like it's in bits and pieces...How do I make the time? I already get up at 5:30AM and work out but I never have enough time to read or write. I work full time and have a 6 year old little boy.
Deb
--

My husband works 4 nights every other week. When he is working, I put our 3 yr old to bed and TRY to do something relaxing, just sit & stare at the TV and usually end up folding clothes, picking up toys etc....Not working. I usually end up staying up until midnight doing housework and am tired & can't concentrate @ work. For the new year (writting this on 01/01/2002) I am going to insist on a standard bedtime for my daughter & myself. And try what seems to be working for many others here. Get up earlier than everyone else and do ME stuff. This page is helpful and inspiring! It's my first visit and plan to explore more of the information available!
-- Lisa

Historically, women put others' needs before their own. That's necessary to a degree and extreme at times. Men seem to be good at finding time, after work for drinks, sporting events, being on a team. As women, how do we do it?
Deb
--

I have made a committment to myself to take time to eat 6 times a day and work out 6 times a week. While I am doing this is reminds me to take care of me so I can be supermom, wife, etc. Once a week I get my nails done or grocery shop alone. I try to read in the bathtub. If I am really looking for "me" time, I leave work early, and take a nap before I pick up my kids from the sitter. I sometimes go home for lunch to clean house, etc so I can spend more time with family.
-- Amanda

I'm a wife and a mother of two (boy 8 and girl 5) and I keep losing jobs due to being late all the time. I'm never caught up with anything. I stay up all night doing laundry, I put the kids to bed and don't forget bath, dinner, prayer, homework and that wonderful kiss good night. In the morning I have to get all three of them up and ready for school and work, iron clothes, make sure they brush their teeth and everything. I never get tp work on time. At this point I feel I can't hold down a job trying to be such a good mother and wife. My husband helps alot and he is wonderful, but it is never enough. He has had the same job for years and I have had 3 jobs in 3 years. I having to make surprise visits to the school when my children decide to act up doesn't help either and finding child care when we have to work really puts me in a bind. I feel like giving up. HELP!
-- Christi

I'm so tired and at this rate I will never be able buy a house. I'm sorry.
-- Christi

Hi! This is time to myself. I got on the computer to do a report on families for college and could not help reading ALL the comments. I am a full-time college, single mother of two(a boy 7 & a girl 6), and a future step-son that is 8 who demand any free time that I may have. There is not a waking moment in my day were I am not taking care of children, cooking,cleaning, or studying. I commend all of that have found the time for yourself. One day it might be me,too.
-- Michelle

to the lady who asked about how do we find a way to eat out because restaraunt workers will "put bodily fluid" in the food of people who complain.

I have worked in the restaraunt industry for most of my adult life and in just about every position. I have NEVER seen this happen. Nor have I ever worked with anyone who I believe would do such a thing. First of all- a kitchen is a VERY busy place and when you're waiting tables you have to be QUICK or else food gets cold, and you get bad tips. There's no TIME for stuff like that. Also- we all eat there, and there's really never anywhere to hide and I can't imagine anyone putting up with a co-worker who would do such a thing.

The biggest thing servers complain about when people bring children is is the mess- If your child gets food all over the floor you need to understand that time will not stop for your server to clean up the mess and if your tip doesn't make up for the time it takes to clean the floor the entire rest of her night can go downhill because she'll be spending time that SHOULD have been spent serving other customers cleaning your floor. We don't care about a messy table, it usually all goes into a bin or a tray for the kitchen to deal with, it's the floor.

I once had a horrible family come in with their 10 month old twins. The mother- in a stroke of genius- gives them each a bowl of RICE to eat. HAve you ever swept rice off the carpet? It took almost an hour to get that floor clean, and you can't run a vacuum when others are eating- they left me a measley $2.00 and it had nothing to do with bad service- they were my only table at the time. Thank God no-one else's service had to suffer.
-- Lisa

Thanks to all the single moms who wrote respones. I have a 3yr old daughter, and just started working a second job. I feel really guilty about not spending time with my daughter, let alone having time for myself. But reading all the letters makes me feel a little better, and i learned some great tips. Thanks Moms.
-- rochelle