|
|
|
|
 Family Career Art of Juggling Single Moms Dad's Voice News Health Bookshelf Recipes Sports Mom Archives Contact Us 
Discussion Lists Wisdom of Mothers Resources 
|
|
Childcare
Pay for daycare!!! My kids are still young enough to do that.
Talk to other parents from your kids class and explore the possibility of taking turns in sharing responsibilities. Money for daycare may not be available. -- Monique
Ask church members, family members, neighbors, work associates...to each have a turn, with you in the lead. It's necessary, and the kids will love it. That recently happened when a church member had a sick baby who couldn't go to day care, and the mom and dad both had used up all their vacation time....she asked, and even our pastor kept the child for one day with him at our church. He spent 2 days at my house and he was such a joy! Just ask and see what happens. You'll be surprised.
Good input - I also agree with checking friends and neighborhood mom's - some may have the holiday off. Off set their time and all the work involved w/ you sitting another time or occassion
As far as one day holidys - take the day off and make it a fun free day for you and your child(ren). For the longer holidays - they have programs through the YMCA and other daycare centers. I know that it will cost - but that's a fair price to pay for the care of your
Check your local museums for all day "camps" on teacher inservice days.
I try to spend as much time as we can with our childern.
I'm glad to see that there are alot of working woamen out there in todays world. I thought I was the only one feeling guitly.
Do you have a husband who is open to sharing? My husband and I share in taking time off for school holidays, sick children, doc appts, etc... My job is more flexible, so I sign up for the "unexpected" like sick days. My husband prefers the scheduled days because his job is not as flexible. If you work together, you'll can find something that is suitable to your situation.
My children are ages 11 & 16. Since I work only a mile away from home I allow them the option of proving to me that they are responsible enough to be together all day without any major crisis, meaning the 11 yr old doesn't have to go to the sitter and the 16 yr old is capable of running a smooth ship while I work. I do come home at lunch to check and/or suggest activities. It gives them a sense of helping Mom and saving money in a tightly budgeted household. They now look forward to proving how responsible they are. The reward for them is an extra priviledge on weekends. The reward for me is peace of mind.
Fortunately for me, my company gives us holiday pay (separate and above vacation time and personal time). My son (9yrs) is in daycare before and after school for an hour or so each, so he goes all day over spring break. They provide field trips and other activities. Also, I pretty much can take a day off whenever as I have a very flexible job.
Fortunately I am my daughter's daycare teacher, so while i am looking after the children in my class, they are there with me.
That question makes me sick. Take the day off.
Many Neighborhoods have a Neighborhood Watch program (to watch for criminal activity). Why not try to poll other parents in the neighborhood to find out if they are having the same problems as you are. You may be able to work out a whole years schedule, where each household would take a Holiday and watch a group of neighborhood chilren. And try to make it something the children and the caregiver could enjoy. Like a pinic, scavenger hunt, simple craft project geared toward the holiday. For lunches each household could send a specified dish ( hot dogs, buns, condiments, chips, fruit, drinks)
I try hard to drop everything and focus all my
Another topic:
I agree wholeheartedly with take the day off!!
A note to Maureen:
This is for Maureen, your son is probably going through some changes of his own he doesn't quite understand himself. Is he involved in some activity outside of school that might get him on track? Maybe some kind of sport or club? Listen close to what he's saying, there might be something at school that's bothering him. Don't set aside your daughter, she's very impressionable now too. Maybe dad can do some father-son things and try to get him to open up.
this is for maureen,
I pay "good money' for two kids a the local YMCA. My kids don't really enjoy it but...
To Maureen If this is a step child he wants to butt heads.Show no anger,and let dad handle the matter in question.
I am starting a part time morning job next week and appreciate all of your suggestions for how to handle kid's days off. I hope to be able to take the days off as needed.
I am a working daughter,wife,mother of 2 girls 5&7, and fellow evanglist. But the way my schedule is 1 of the 4 usally suffers. I talk to the girls and it goes in 1 ear and out the other. I tring to get the emotional support from my husband, kids, and GOD. But for some reason its not working fast enough. what should i DO!!!!!
response to jayne,
Jayne, I think you need to put yourself in others shoes. Not everyone can take time off easily or with repercussions. Women already have it hard enough at work. Before we have children, employers don't want to hire us because "we will get pregnant and leave and once we have kids, they say "we are not dedicated because we only think about our children". Where I work, I see the women in our office working their tails off and the men just coast along. The men always seem to get the credit and the glory though. Taking a day off here and there has more impact than you think. I believe that this website is to support each other. We moms whether we work at an office or at home get enough grief from others who don't understand each of us is doing what we must do for the best of our family.
I am a stay at home mom, so I don't have to worry about care for my son. I provide it myself!!!
I understand the frustration. I have several working moms working with me and they have the same problem. Some take the day off. Others are able to leave them at home alone. If its only a few hours, they bring them to work. I have been lucky. I owned my own business until my son was older and I also had aging Grandparents across the neighborhood. Today, my son is 11 and I leave him home. It's been a long slow process of leaving him. I can trust him. He wants me to trust him so he behaves.
Let us all try to remember that "BAD MOMS ARE REALLY GOOD MOMS IN DISQUISE"
My household is very similiar to Terri's. I also have an 11yr old and a 14yr old. My office is only 1 mile away which gives my children the opportunity to prove to me and to themselves that they can manage lunches, chores and everyday things that may arise. They have had to learn many new things to get by. I feel it has made them more independent. They can only improve their self confidence.
I never knew how hard it was to leave your sick baby with someone else. It's a difficult to decide what to do early in the morning when you're supposed to be out the door. I'm lucky to have my mom around to look after the baby when she is not well enough to go to day care. I do take days off without pay in order to make sure that she is o.k. But I am only able to do this because I know that at least my partner is earning a paycheck.
I think by all means that you should try and take as much time off from work to spend time with your children. They won't be children for very long and it will all be gone. Create as many memories as possible. Theres no amount of money worth those memories and precious time spent together. I world doesn't understand that concept any more....We live for this little "speck" in life.
Michelle, I'm with you. I'm home raising my children.
I have read more of the Moms situations. My heart really goes out to the Mothers who are single parents. I understand that totally. I don't wan't to be insensitive to their situation , by no means. I feel though that to many woman leave the home to gain sheer financial gain and I feel thats wrong. If by all means you can take time off from work to invest in your childs upbring, then do it. As I mentioned theirs nothing more important than FAMILY.
To M.D.H.
wow. I am impressed with how supportive many comments are. But saddened that some are judgemental. Isn't there enough judgement passed on us each day without hearing it from this list?
well,in my situation,fortunetly I only had to take 1 day from work due to daycare being closed.my son is older and spent time w/his father.But only with the help of the man in my life I was able to swing the work shift this year,with my smaller child.But there still is additional time you have to take from work,so what I do at times is the weekend my children are gone I make up work hours on those weekends. Not always my choice but,I do have to maintain an income as most you single parents out ther already know! You just have to learn to schedule work times around daycare and schooling times as best as possible. switching shifts with another employee is another great avenue.
another comment to add for single parents to try your local social services does help with paying a portion of daycare according to your income. You do not have to recieve any other services from them. this is a HUGE help
hang in there Maureen I'm going through the same thing with my soon to be 11 yr old in 3 mos. the best thing that's worked for me so far is tough LOVE. i also have a 3 1/2 yr old who sometimes gets more attention. So I've started taking 1 day that just my son and i hang out.not getting him what he wants material wise but what he craves so much as a child growing into a young man. letting him do all the talking and just me listening for awhile. just something so simple as playing a game on the computer,together has made a big difference. it's not always easy but neither is being a parent. sometimes the tougher my love has been the closer we are at times, and gives him the sense that life really isn't a bowl full of cherries! and no matter what I continually tell how much I love him.......that we all love him. good luck to you!
I have a 4 year old son. My work only gives major holidays such as Christmas,New Years and Thankgiving off. I was beginning to get extremely frustrated because I had my son in a family daycare (at home mom watching 6 kids for money). But every holiday that came around she would decide to take that day off (with notice of course). This was affecting my work schedule because I would have to take a vacation day everytime. I decided the best decision was to put him into a commercial daycare. I was lucky enough to find one that was closed the same holidays as my work and the advantages were much greater. I don't miss work ever from his school calling me because the need a day off or a vacation. It's great!! :)
I believe that every familys situation is different. For this we all should focus on each parents unique situation and try and give the best positive support possible. Its like steping into anothers shoes and running a mile befor we judge. There are a lot of great suggestions to many of these questions and my advice to all is, take the time to evaluate your problem and then try and aply the best advice which pertains to your unique situation. Keep it positive!!!!!
I'm fortunate enough to have a boss who will allow me to work part of the time in the office and partly telecommute from home on special occasions like this. If you have another mom in a similar situation, you could trade off perhaps half a day in the office each, or holidays.
Well, I have an understanding boss and husband.I want to be as dependable as possible to my employer, but at the same time I don't have the heart or satisfaction of leaving my child with someone else when they are sick. My mother is about the only one that I feel that I can do this with, and I still have some guilt feelings.
Luckily, my work is usually closed on most holidays, and our daycare is open when my office is open
I am new to this website. I came across it in my search support for working moms and am saddedned to see that even among working mothers there is so much judging of each other. Maybe they should examine their own guilty concience before judging others. In regards to this question...I am fortunate that I am allowed unlimited sick days for these kinds of emergencies. I would recommend that you talk to your boss in regards to flex time or other ways to "make up the time" you may need to miss because of these events.
What is the more current question?
I FIND A VERY DEPENDABLE INDIVIDAL
WELL I AM SELF EMPLOYED SO IF THERE IS NO ONE THAT I CAN COUNT ON THEN I JUST TAKE THEM TO
I have been an at-home Mom for many years, but just recently have started working full time at the local telephone company, working their INTERNET HELP DESK ~ an opportunity I just could NOT pass up. So, this working-mom stuff is very new to me. Today was day #4 on the job, and already I have a sick child. He is my baby, 6 yrs old, and is realy feeling miserable tonight and cried he didn't want to go to school tomorrow. I went into panic mode, but once my husband came home, we discussed the situation. I was SO pleased to see how cooperative he was about it. He is willing to cancel his afternoon appointments tomorrow to stay home with our son. We both feel it's important I do not miss any work so early in the game, during my training period. I just hope that between the two of us, we will work these things out as they crop up.
We had neighborhood moms -- a cluster of women who worked vastly different jobs with very different schedules. Our children attended the same schools. We simply communicated via telephone to find out who would be home during that particular holiday or break. The mom that worked at the bank, for example, was apt to be off from work for President's Day. So, which ever mother was scheduled to be home became the block mom for the day. This worked great only because each of the involved families had older children that could help take care of the younger one. The block mom's primary job was to call or visit each household during the day, drive children to any scheduled activities and just generally remain available in case of emergencies.
I am a single mom,recently divorced due to an extremely abusive husband. I had no choice but to go back to work full- time and I am the bread winner in the family. My child support is just a drop in the bucket. My children are 8, 7, and 3 and I wish badly that I could be home with them. But I am being the best and most loving mother I can be because I am providing for them and giving them a safe home. They attend a Christian school that provides before and after care and it is located only 15 minutes from my work. I am blessed because I get the same holidays off as they do and daycare is provided at their school for inservice days. I pay a pretty penny for their tuition and their before and after care but it's worth it. They are safe and happy and if they can't be with me, at least they are with loving and moralistic people. I believe Jayne has hurt alot of people with what she's said today and I hope she reads all the responses and changes her outlook. I think any of us that care enough to write on this site, obviously love and cherish our children. I'd just like to also say that though this first year divorced has been scary and tough, it's been worth it. Everytime I look into the smiling and relaxed faces of my kids I know I made the right choice. Troyce
My son is only 2 so I have my husband who works nights and my mom who has an alternate schedule. But you could try a daycare. They have signs saying that they are now signing up for summer care.
HOW ENLIGHTENING TO LISTEN IN ON "MOTHERS". JAYNE STICKS OUT IN MY MIND AND SOME MOTHERS WHO WORK IN THEIR HOMES. TIMES ARE TOUGHER THAN EVER REGARDING THE BREAK-DOWN OF THE HUMAN FAMILY, THUS CREATING SINGLE PARENTS. RATHER THAN PERSONAL VIEWS, IT IS NECESSARY TO RELATE TO ONE ANOTHER AND OFFER SUPPORT THRU LOVE & KINDNESS. THIS SITE IS ONE WAY TO SEE HELPFUL HINTS FOR ADULTS (ONCE CHILDREN, TOO) RAISE HEATHY NORMAL CHILDREN. ALL HELP STARTS W/ A CLOSE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR CREATOR. THE ONE WHO LOOKS OUT FOR OUR BEST INTERESTS (BECAUSE WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR OURSELVES) WHEN WE PUT HIM FIRST. EVEN ON THE DAYS WHEN IT SEEMS NO ONE CARES. THEN THESE OTHER GREAT IDEAS WORK; LIKE GETTING OTHERS TO CHIP IN. SUPPORT IS KEY.
To Michelle:
Often, we have no choice but to take time off from work to be with our children when they have off from school. That's why we work from home, to have the kind of flexibility we need to raise our children and work at the same time. Nevertheless, when there's work to be done, it's got to get done. My solutions have been among the following (1) live with chaos, non-completion, and imperfection as best I can, (2) get help (paid, friends, or relatives), (3) "compromise", spending part of the day doing kids things with them and part of the day doing your thing with them alongside you. Working from home, there's no question that I've structured my whole life in a way that allows me and my husband to have a family and work too. There's no question that my family has very high priority for me. There's good days and bad, right? Keep your spirits up, and do the best you can!
Thank you Sara for your point regarding Michelle's commentary. This is a site where "dual career" mothers can exchange ideas and give each other support. Shame on you!
This is very informative website. Each situation is different. Lucky for me I have 20 days vacation. I have work for 21 years,at times I did things different and spend time with my family. It is time well spent not the time you spend. Thank God I found I good church to go when I needed it most.Like someone said" Don't get off your knees." No matter how old your Kids are you never stop worry about them.
I AM TRYING TO STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF MY TWO YEAR OLD AT LEAST UNTIL SHE GO TO SCHOOL. BUT IT IS REALLY HARD TO BRING ANY MONEY THAT WAY. I WANT TO STAY HOME.
This is a great website. I'm digesting all of your comments and thinking about how to apply some of your ideas in my situation. My heartfelt best wishes to the single moms. Good for you for keeping your spirits up and your hearts and heads in the right place. Just do your best and don't second guess yourself.
This is a great website. I'm digesting all of your comments and thinking about how to apply some of your ideas in my situation. My heartfelt best wishes to the single moms. Good for you for keeping your spirits up and your hearts and heads in the right place. Just do your best and don't second guess yourself.
Some suggestions:
Ooooooooeee Jayne! What's eating her? Well, it's so great to see 99.9% support here at this site. It's a juggle no matter who you are and I appreciate all the helpful, warm comments here. Although I've been frustrated with a lack of parent support at work, any negatives have been balanced by the reward of going home to see my child. When I step though the door and see his ketchup stained face grinning at me, I melt! Many thanks to all of you for creating this supportive environment!
My son just swallowed a magnet about the same size as a nickle but just a little bit thicker. What should we do? I (father) say we need to just wait and let it pass through his system. The wife says go to the hospital. He has no discomfort visable.
I am a grandmother,raising a grandson 5 years old, thank God my husband has different days off than I do. I have the upmost respect for all working moms and only now since I am in the same spot did I realize it was so costly for daycare or to pay for a private baby sitter. We only need some one for two days a week with our schedules the way that they are---0n those two days we relie on our aunt,who is 70 years old to take Logan to school from the babysitters and back-because this was a big problem for us if you found a good sitter she didn't take the child to pre-school and pick them up. No one knows how hard it is raising a child if you need to work unless you're there yourself.
I love the insight that comes from Dana's Diary here at Working Mom's Refuge. As a single parent of 4 children I have to agree with her. It is important to find a "network" of people to help. Especially w/ daycare problems that arise. I have a handful of people I have been blessed with that are available to take turns on those sick days or holidays. It is hard to juggle. Nice to see the positive side of all you parents in regards to that negative comment from Jayne.
Wow, so many women with different opinions! It is a reminder of how unique we are and that it takes all kinds to make the world go round. After reading Jayne's comment, it reminded me how valuable the positive comments were. Sometimes you need to be reminded about the greatness of human beings and the capacity for love and understanding. At times, they can only be seen and appreciated by witnessing the exact opposite. Sort of like appreciating the sun even more after the rain. So, I would like to say "Thank you Jayne for the negativity. It made me value the positive comments all the more:)"
I have been with the same co. for 10 yrs and and just 2 years ago I went to 4 days when my 2nd son was born. (We had to adjust our budget for the pay difference) The extra day off helps but it is hard to take any other day off because no one else can do my job and if my boss had it his way I would be here for all 5 days. Luckily for me my mother watches my children (age 5 and 2) and even when they are sick I can take them there. Even though its their grandmonther I feel guilty not staying home but we can not afford any smaller paycheck. I have no other person that can watch my children and my husbands schedule does not allow him to take off without notice. The only advice I can offer is to try to see if your finances and your boss will allow you to go to 4 days or add hours to the other 4 days so you can have 1 day off. This way you can change days if an emergency comes up and your boss hopefully will not get upset. (i.e. I'm off on Friday but if my son is sick on Thursday I make it up by working on Friday) This goes with field trips also. Otherwise find a babysitter you can trust!
I KEEP ALL THE KID'S MEAL TOYS WE GET FROM VARIOUS FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS IN A "SPECIAL" BAG IN THE CAR SO IT'S ALWAYS AVAILABLE FOR NICE DINNERS OUT. I LET MY 2 YEAR OLD CHOOSE A FEW TOYS OUT OF THE BAG TO CARRY INTO THE RESTAURANT TO HELP KEEP HER ENTERTAINED WHILE MY HUSBAND AND I FINISH OUR MEALS. (ALSO IN THE BAG ARE CRAYONS AND PAPER!)
I don't need to worry about this yet, as we still
My mom does not like me.I am 9.
Elizabeth, I do not know you or your mother but am I sad to see that you think your mother does not like you. I'm sure it is not true. Try talking to your mother. If she works outside the home she is probably feeling tired and sad that she can not spend more time with you. If you feel you can not talk to your motrher try talking with another adult who you trust as soon as you can.
I use to be a stay at home, homeschooling mom of five young children (ages 9-2). Due to financial difficulty, I had to enroll my three older children in public school which was VERY difficult for me, emotionally. My oldest sister (thank God for her) is helping me with the two younger children. I am now working a full time job. Although our life is very crazy, I hope it will get easier as the as the children get older. But I know that God will never give us more than we can bear and He IS in control. Right now I am trying to develop a home-based business so that I can be with my children again soon. Thank God my husband is very supportive and helps me as much as he can. My heart truly goes out to all the single mothers & fathers out there who are doing the best they can for their children. And thats all we can all do, our best, Leave the rest in God's hand. God bless to all.
There is nothing in this world more cherished to a working mother than a dependable child care provider/babysitter. I found mine when my children were toddlers and I have nurtured a relationship with her to the point that my children regard her almost as grandmother. She will pick my kids up from school, help with homework, even keep them if they are not feeling well enough to go to school. She is truly a lifesaver, I couldn't have come this far in my career without her.
I am fortunate enough to have a husband that's a teacher. They have all these days off together which leaves me on the outside. I am a nurse and depending which holiday I worked last means the next I will be without my family. I already work evenings so I miss out on so much of my older son's activities. I would like to start a career where I can work at home but living in a small community I don't think I have many options. Any ideas?
I must admit that I am not a mother, but I would for you to help me with something. My name is Kevin and i live in kyle texas. My reason in e-mailing is to find a friend I have not seen in a long time. We were friends at Southwest Texas State University a couple of years ago, and we both worked at the Gap in San Marcos. Her name is April Smith, and I know she comes from Killeen but that's just about all I know. She was on the drill team, and she must have graduated from Killeen around 1998 or 99. Any help would be great
Elizabeth: This is for you honey listen I am not sure of your situation. If you are sad you should try to talk to your mom . If you are afraid you should talk to an adult. There is a number for kids you can call for help with any questions you have don't be afraid . Its for kids. KIDSHELP PHONE 1-800-668-6868 this will not cost anything ok good luck.
I have a 14 year old son, he is a good kid, quite responsible but very shy to make freinds. He is in a new private high school this year. He seems to be very lonely. He didn't make any friends yet. We are worried and thinking what to do next.
I have been a single working mom, and a married working mom. I know how hard it is to try to do the best you can. Not everyone has payed days off, and not everyone can afford daycare. If the financial means is not there, it's not there. There are alot of circumstances that people deal with that others don't. Untill we walk in their shoes we should not judge, but be supportive and think of alternatives. I was fortunate enough to have family to help, but not everyone does! I think the Idea of the churches, and roating turns with other moms is great. Maybe they need a break for a anniversary, or just quite time. My sister and her friends take turns so they have special time with their husbands without the kids. If you do it this way, the kids are happy, the mom is happy, and the daddy is certainly happy. Good Luck!
MY HUSBAND IS A 1 YR AMPUTEE AND IS DOING FAIRLY WELL AND COPING, ALWAYS ON HIS WAY TO DOING THINGS, SO WITH BEING DISABLED AND NOT WORKING HE WILL STAY WITH OUR DAUGHTERS AND KEEP THEM PRETTY BUSY,PROBABLY DOING THE MOVIE MATINEES AND OTHER FUN THINGS. THE FATHER AND DAUGHTER BOND WILL BE A GOOD THING.
Hi, I just stumbled on this web page and am sure glad I did,,,,I work various hours depending on how busy the company I work for is...it is a challenge to find child care especcially when school has so many holidays including the upsoming christmas break Dec.22-Jan 8,,,but I guess we do what we always do and find a sitter or gramma and grampa etc...it is a juggling act,I too used to be a single mother and am now been in a relationship for 5 years, we are to be married in the new year. My hats go off to the single women it is a heck of a job, but we always seem to muddle through and do the best we can,even at times it feels like we are not doing enough,,it is a hard job, but I am sure our children appreciate it and grow from it. I t would be nice to be able to stay home full time, but realisticly with bills the ways they are,our utility and gas bills in Alberta have gone through the roof you need to have both parents working to survive,and like I mentioned before the single parents really struggle as they also have the bills, but have income coming into the home....it is a constant struggle...pammy
Jayne, I don;t know who you have for a boss but if I took the day off every time I had a sick child at home or the school had a day off, I don;t think I would have a job....You abviously have a very good job and make a lot of money as a day off in my job means a day without pay and that certainly does not pay the bills..Pammy
HI,THIS IS TOTALLY OFF TOPIC BUT MAYBE SOME OF YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE HAVE SOME ADVISE OR CAN RELATE. MY HUSBAND AND I NOW HAVE 2 CHILDREN AT HOME AGES 12 AND 8- THE OTHER CHILDREN AGED 20AND 22 HAVE SINCE MOVED OUT. WE HAVE BEEN THINKING AND ACTUALLY ARE QUITE SERIOUS ABOUT BECOMING FOSTER PARENTS, WE ACTUALLY HAVE ENROLLED IN CLASSES TO TAKE THAT ARE REQUIRED AND I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR OF OTHER FAMILIES THAT ARE DOING THIS . MY PARENTS ARE FOSTER PARENTS AND I WAS RAISED IN THEIR HOME, AND I FEEL THAT IF WE CAN HELP SOME CHILDREN THAT ARE IN UNFORTUNATE SITUATIONS AND CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE OR AT LEAST TRY WE SHOULD DO IT...I THINK THIS WILL BE A VERY REWARDING EXPERIANCE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY, OF COURSE LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE I AM SURE THERE WILL BE UPS AND DOWNS, BUT THE NEED IS GREAT AND I THINK WE COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I INVITE ANY READERS OPINIONS AND ADVISE. THANKS, HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND BEST WISHES FOR A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR.PAMMY
Would you believe that for a nominal registration fee you can take your child to a Boys & Girls Club for afterschool care and at no additional cost have supervised care for your child during holidays, and winter and spring breaks. This service is available in Nashville to anybody willing to provide transportation and work around the 9AM-5PM hours of the club.
I am a daycare teacher who works with infants up
I have a seven year old son and the afterschool program is closed on federal holidays. In the real world we don't all have federal holidays off, so at my church I found a teenager that lives near my job. She watches my son on those occasions when the afterschool program is closed. This works out great for me because she has a brother that is the same age as my son. My son looks forward to the days she gets to watch him.
My son's father and I split the holidays. I save my vacation time for winter break and am fortunate enough to have off all federal holidays. On teacher workdays my son stays with his dad. It's good to have the one on one time to be together and my son gets a break from the school day stresses, i.e. getting up early, rushing out the door, etc.
For the most part, either my husband or I take the day off. Sometimes he goes to work with my husband if it is a must he work. But for those that can't do that - I sympathize. When did schooldays get shorter and the days off get more abundant than when we were in school? I say trash some of these days off and make our children's summer longer - like after labor day start school not two weeks before!!!!! I can continue my care for two weeks but it's tough a day here and a day there. Especially now when they are getting so many more!
Jayne, i really think you are an insensitive person to make such a negative comment. I was a single parent for 7 years out of my 9 year olds life. I would have wanted nothing more than to spend every moment I could with her but paying bills had to come first. If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all - keep that in mind
I wish it were as simple as dealing with only the "holiday factor". My husband and I both work weekends as a regular part of our schedule (he is in the entertainment business, and I am in the food-service business); we have 2 boys 11 and 4. I have been incredibly fortunate that my parents are nearly always available (and willing) to have my kids go to their house from Friday afternoon thru Sunday morning, when we do the bleary eyed shuttle... I think that there are always challenges and sacrifices to be made when raising children...they are always stressful and they cannot always be compared between families...
My husband and I work for the same company. Our 3-moth old daughter is going to work with us. Hopefully trading off between the 2 of us, she'll stay entertained all day, and we won't sacrifice a day-off when WE need it!
My husband and I work for the same company. Our 3-moth old daughter is going to work with us. Hopefully trading off between the 2 of us, she'll stay entertained all day, and we won't sacrifice a day-off when WE need it!
I have a Ten year old son, who is bucking the system in every way. I currently work for a temp agency, because when I worked full-time, he would punish me with volatile mornings/evenings and home work not completed. His father is not in the picture due to abuse three years ago. The daycares in the area will not take him, so today he is home alone. I will go home on my lunch and I call him on both breaks and I pack the refrigerator full and I am currently looking for a mentor as well. We have had our share of screaming matches. He is now becoming strong and tries to bully me, not letting me pass through to different parts of the house and has thrown chairs in the past, however there is a very loving and sweet side to him. My parents are deceased and my father's family are non-supportive, because I got divorced in the first place. Friends are scarce, I feel consumed and I look daily for advice on the internet. I pray to God daily, but I also need practical steps and knowledge, if I knew what the heck I was doing, I could be more at peace with my situation.
You have to make sure they're covered even if it means taking off. As far as exhausting leave days from work, if I go over my allowed days, I simply take it without pay. I decided a few months back to do that instead of hording my days and worrying that I wouldn't have any left. It's made a huge difference.
I was a single mom and I would now like to help those of you who would like to be helped. Through my church I have been getting single moms together not only for support but for moms and their children to share in some fun activities. Also, I know how difficult it is when you can't make your rent/mortgage or something breaks down that needs repaired. I am working on getting a web site An Angel for Mom. If you are interested let me know my phone number is 614-891-4378
My son tends to get sick a lot, more than having to worry about Holiday's. Fortunately, I have a "Back-up" sitter that he use to go to for a year. It's when he's sick that takes up the vacation time, not so much the holidays and scheduled time off. For those who say "this question makes me sick" don't assume for one minute everyone works by choice, or has the luxury or understanding boss that you must have. It is ideally every mom's intent to spend as much time with her children as possible, which may mean 5:30-bedtime during the week, and 48 hours during weekends, and this, my fellow mom, is healthy for the whole family. Everyone needs time away, not just moms. I am a strong believer in "quality" daycare, and will not stay home unless I am able to afford to send my kids to daycare. So, some of us work to get the best education and social development possible for our kids. Not to stay away from them, but to encourage their independence and well-being. For a mother to be that close minded... that's what should make a person sick.
HI, MY NAME IS DARLENE I AM 36 . IS THERE ANYONE THERE THAT HAS 15 & 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTERS. I FIND IT MORE STRESSING TO RAISE THEM ITS LIKE ONE DAY THERE MY LITTLE GIRLS & NOW ITS A NEW WAY OF PARENTING THE GOOD GIRLS INVOLVED IN SPORTS A & B STUDENTS VERY ACTIVE AND NOW THE BOY THING , AND MOM ITS A NEW GENERATION I GO WITH MY INSTINTS I CANT BELEVE HOW PARENTS JUST LET THESE KIDS GO DROP THEM OFF AT MY HOME & THEY DONT EVEN KNOW ME . I WOULD LOVE TO TALK (DARLENE1012@HOTMAIL.COM E-MAIL ME ANY TIME I AM NEW AT THIS BUT I LIKED THIS SITE THANKS
asdasd's
In my town we have what is called PAL (the Police Athletic League. This is set up by the police department and they have summer programs and after school programs. My four children (11, 12, 13, 14) have been attending the summer program for four years now. The cost is $20 for the entire 8 week program and they get a t-shirt to go with it. They take children from 6 thru 13. My oldest is now 14 this summer so he can't go as an actual PAL member, but he has volunteered to help the police officers with the younger kids and so will get to stay all day with the other three. It is a marvelous program. Many of the police officers spend time at the program and so my kids have gotten to know many of the officers and the officers know them. Every time we see one of them in town, the officer will stop and ask how they are doing and say hi. Needless to say, I don't have to worry too much about their safety! They get to partcipate in many different kids of sports, they go skating, swimming, to movies, and all sorts of other things. If you want to see if your police department has this program in place, check with their community relations department. If they don't have one, see about encouraging them to start one. I don't know how I would have survived the summers without them! Laura
I grow so weary of hearing stay-at-home moms put working mothers down and vice versa. It's great to have an opinion on the subject, but it's all subjective. I am a GREAT mom, and I know that I am. I choose to work outside the home for a number of reasons and it works well for me and my family. I have a well behaved, intelligent 2 1/2 year old and a sweet 5 month old--both of whom get a lot out of the loving environment they spend the day in. They learn that other adults love them, socialize with other children under the age of 5, do art projects, go on field trips, sing songs, learn ABCs and to count, etc. Today, I am going to a "Mother's Day Tea" put on by the small "in-home" daycare. They play outside and learn to share... I couldn't do all of this if I were home. I have quality time to spend with my son by taking him to gymnastics class or the park in the evenings and devoting myself to the kids in the evenings and weekends. We working moms aren't villains. We just choose to work outside the home. I have utmost respect for women that choose to raise their children at home as well as women who choose to work. It's hard enough just to raise children that are kind, loving, and good without having to be judged by others who have made other choices. The point is, does it work for you and your family? If the answer is yes, you have made the right choice. If the answer is no, then maybe you need to rethink your decision on whether or not to work
I utilize family and My husband and I alternate if needed.
I have just read through all the responses and am amazed at how they vary. It is so nice to see that the majority of the comments are striving to provide positive feed back. I am hoping that someone can provide me with some insight on a different topic.
I HAVE NO CHOICE, I HAVE TO TAKE THE DAY OFF.
i am responding to ann,who prioritized her family to MHD.
hi'my name is Peggy and I could really use some good advice and getting the kind of help that I need I am needing some help in washington i'm seperated from my spouse and he has our kid's he was the main bread winner our whole marriege for 18 year's and I never completed high school I have no Income of my own is there any way that you can help me out I have already went to as many poeple as I could you can't do much when you have no money can any one help me get a pro-bono lawyer pass the word along I don't know what to do I don't know the law at all my case is in pierce down town tacoma court please I pray that some one can help me out write me back please thank you for listening to my crying out the 4th of july was not the same for me this year because i was not with my kid's I pray to God that you can help me out .
Hi, I just heard about this site this morning as I was racing to get myself and my kids (3 & 5 yrs olds) ready for another busy day. I was wondering if anyone out there has some advice for a mother who currently works 1 full-time job and 2 part-jobs. I am employed full time by the local government and am very greatful for the position that I have been able to achieve. Needless to say, though, as I have risen in the ranks here, so has our budget. Not too smart, right?? Well I am currently contemplating leaving the full time job to be at home full time with the 3 year old and be there when the 5 year old gets off the bus. Then concentrate on working my part-time job of financial advisory to a maximum. If I'm home all day with the kids, maybe it won't be so bad if I leave in the evening to go on appointments. My husband works full time too, but he's willing to be there in the evenings to watch the kids.
I have been out of the workforce for some years now. My children's father and I divorced this year and while he is providing child and spousal support, I believe for my own mental well-being, I need to get back into the workplace. My children are 13 (and she's depressed sometimes) and 8(and quiet). I enjoyed being at home with them while I could. But I've always had a real respect for working-outside-of-the-home mothers. God bless you all.
response to dani - a lot of women (including myself would kill for your job and its flexible hours, but you need to do what makes you happy. if you can show your husband on paper
I was lucky enough to stay home during the day, working at night when my husband came home, with my boys (now 13 & 9) until they were both in school full time. Now, I work full time. My bosses are a working couple with small children of their own. They understand the complexities of working and caring for home and family. I have three weeks paid vaca a year, usually only taking one full week and using the remaining days on school days off. During the summer and long school breaks, such as winter and spring, I hire local teenagers to come to my house so that the boys can sleep late and stay home. Keep up the good work all you working mothers! Every situation is differenet and we each need to to what is best for our own families and support each other - at home or at work!
My son is eight years old and i am blessed to have holidays off so that i can be at home with him.
I was pleasantly surprised recently when "Daddy" agreed to take a day off work to stay home with our sick Toddler. I didn't even ask him, just mentioned how hard taking one day off without pay was and 2 days being nearly impossible and he actually offered to help out! My 2nd is the ever-awesome Grandparents. 3rd is split half day with relatives and work other half of day-boss gets to see you there for part of day
Hi, I am a fulltime working mom of a three year old boy. I am reading a book called "Ending the Mother War" by Jayne Buxton. It is essential reading for any parent. We as parents need to stand together and challenge the way business treats working parents. Our job is an important and vital one, as we are raising the next generation which will take over the world, our children need the best we can provide so that the world can be a better place. Lets look at the big picture. Together, we can all make a difference.
Did you know that some of your household cleaning products contain cancer causing agents?? It's true...I did some research and discovered all kinds of facts on things from cleaners to dryer sheets....Check it out for yourself...Lot's of websites on it!!!
Take vacation time! The way I look at it, a day without getting up at 5:30 to get the three of us packed and off IS a vacation! If that doesn't work, grandparents! If that isn't an option, take them to work with you (have done that on several occasions). If they want you at work badly enough, they will agree to the last one!
Pammy-
I recently had to move back in with my parents for financial reasons. I am 24 with a 4 year old daughter. I work, but I am also a student. It has taken me 3 1/2 year to get to my junior year in school, because I have to go part time in order to earn money too. But now I am sort of forced to take on a full load at school because I have a scholarship. Anyhow, this has really affected my income. I feel like a real failure having to go home. I guess I am asking how I can feel better about this lack of autonomy. Or should I try and find a roomate? I am a little leary of raising a child with another person living with us because it's surely confusing to my daughter. Also, I don't want to trust someone that might screw me over. I just need some suggestions on how I can get by for the next couple of years until I graduate.
How do you get ink off the back of the inside of the clothes dryer?
Ballpoint pen ink comes off with a cotton ball with a little hairspray on it !
1 year ago I proposed a reduced work week to my male, very corporate, manager. In this well thought out, professional proposal I presented problems and solutions on how I would deal with certain situations relevant to my job. In my case I was asking to leave at 3pm to be at home for my daughter afterschool. I further explained why it meant so much to me (for the personal touch!) and to my amazement, he accepted. My advice...you never know unless you ask. Be thorough and professional in your proposal. They'll not only be impressed but they'll also know that your serious...Good luck!
First, check to see if local health clubs might have programs geared for these days. In our area there were a few that did this and the kids had a great time swimming, playing basketball, chilling-out, etc. It was all supervised by people over the age of 18 and it was a success. Second, team up with another parent and this will cut the number of days missed by half or a third if you can find a threesome. Third, find a stay-at-home mom who could use the extra income. Be sure to pay them what you would a child care provider.
So disturbed by the gal that says "that question makes me sick - stay home". It seems that a lot of people didn't actually read the question. Perhaps staying at home is not an option unless you can afford to go without being paid that day. Some people have had other family emergencies during the year and could have already used all their vacation and sick leave. It "makes me sick" that some people seem to have no compassion for the situation.
I am a stay at home mom during the day and work nights when my husband is home. I also work every weekend. Although this is ideal for childcare purposes,it's very hard on my husband and myself since we spend no time together!Why not try a high school boy or girl to babysit while you work on holidays and school vacations?? I'm sure at least some kids wouldn't mind earning some money while off school!
Question:
Luckily for us our daycare is open for President's Day.
I'm a child careprovider plus I'm in college, I find the hardest part of my day is trying to do my job before school. like the children ready for school finding somebody to take care of the children I do keep. This is all before I go to school.Then theres my 12 yr.old who's found girls thats a whole nother subject. I do commend all the women lives are more hetic than mine.
dump him at the sitters house
First of all you need to line up a babay sitter and then dump them off ther for her to handle. Tell our kids to be on their best behavior but you know they are not. Then leave as fast as you can to start living it up with out your kids. Dont even think about your kids because when you get back then you will be with them as fun as that sounds.
Mike & Brandon -
After reading to above views from the other people's views,i still consider myself lucky.Simply bcoz,i hv put up great performance in my office ,thus when comes to the long haul holiday like that , i will ask my boss the permission to bring along my kids in office.Of courselah , i will set aside some activity such as drawing,colouring, etc.As long as i hv them do it quietly with disciplin.In that case, my boss will definitely not regret granting them to enter.But the overall conclusion is that u hv to built a honest relationship with ur boss.
Hi
I have 3 kids ranging in age from 8 to 19 and have been both a full-time/traveling/long-commuting paycheck Mom as well as a stay-at-home Mom and everything in between (working from home, part-time contract work, etc....) I can tell you that these out-of-the-blue holidays and teacher work days (as well as sick child days) are what have propelled me once again to be home full-time with my children. Also- as a SAHM I must say how much I resent paycheck Moms ASSUMING I will watch their children for them on these days without compensating me in money or a trade. My experience has been paycheck Moms SAY they will watch my children in return SOMETIME, but it never really happens. I feel like I'm pulling extra duty volunteering at the school to make up for paycheck Mom's lack of participation - and I'm not eager to also babysit their kids for free so they won't have to take a vacation day themselves. Having said that - when I was a paycheck Mom I often was forced to pay a high premium in childcare costs for these odd days here and there. I used a sick-child service provided by a hospital for $85 per child per day and relied upon Nanny on Call services that charged equal amounts. It was the price I had to pay for having my career AND 3 children. And, as I say, the price became too high. Both financially and for my own and my childrens' sanity.
For the most part, those are the times when my husband comes in. At other times, when he is somewhere with/for the military, I try to make sure I have a back-up day care provider. There have been times when my son has stayed with a girlfriend and her children.
For the Stay at Home Moms that responded to the question that was intended for working mothers - Why are you even responding? You can't offer any advice so move along to other areas of the website. We working mothers are trying to support and help one another. If you are able to stay at home - thank you husband day and night for the luxury he is providing for you. So, please do not judge in a forum you know nothing about.
This is an excellent site. I am in the middle of writing a life learning paper that is due tomorrow on Single Working Mothers. I am a single working mother and full time student with a full time job. I have 3 children 14, 11, 8). I have taken off just to be with my children on the days out of school because we really do not have a lot of options unless their father is not out of town working. I rotate between leaving them home in the care of the 14 year old, taking them to grandma's house where they stay by themselves until 1:00, staying home, or asking my sister to watch them. My job is crazy they make me take a half vacation day even if I am at my daughter's school for two hours to help her with reading or rewards day. I have given up alot that my children needed to maintain money to cover the essentials. I commend myself and my children do too. I thank God for being who he is in my life because without him being bigger than all of these circumstances I would lose my mind. I guess I'll write this paper now. Just reading others comments has motivated me!!! +
I am amazed at the responses...astonished by others. I've been a working mom and a forced to stay at home mom and I understand the terror a mom can feel when your child is sick for the first time and you haven't planned for anything that resembles back-up daycare and you are already late for work. With no family here and a husband who left, I would stay home knowing that I was putting myself in jeopardy of losing my job. However, after a period of time of extensive pressure from work to travel, I was layed off (nicely fired). I never thought I would be a forced to stay at home mom because I felt that after six years of school I needed to put it to use. But then through my child's eyes mine were opened to a new life...it's amazing how she enjoys life regardless. So, through the pain, through it all I find ways to enjoy life regardless.
*Comments:
I am the mother of three girls and work as a nurse at night. This does help with the childcare problem. I think,though,that ALL moms need to support each other! It's not easy taking care of the children at home,i know. But,after I get home after working all night,the same laundry and dishes to be washed are there. Please support each other-being a mother is hard but it is so rewarding!
It's great to be a stay at home mom, but we don't have holidays, sick days or vacations. I am trying to go to work but with the lack of education, I can't find a job to pay for day care AND the bills. I wish I had your problems. I love to babysit, may yall can find a stay-at-home mom to help with the kids on those days.
Very Interesting comments here... My son is 13 months, so the YMCA and Boys and Girls club are not yet options... I have a few family members I can count on, depending on which day of the week it is. I am allowed 5 sick days per year, and three weeks vacation. So far this year, I have used 11 of my vaction days to cover days that day care was closed, due to their family vacations. I just switched day care, and love the new lady, but she seems to be very strict about runny noses, coughs, etc.. I hope it works out, as I only have one sick day left...
Actually, I have tried the friends, church and my daughters friends' route and none have worked to my liking. So ~ ~ I just take the time off and "share" my vacation time w/my 10 year old getting as much of my time (and influence) in as I can while she still wants me around.
you moms need to stay at home and take care of your kids instead of sending them to daycare with something that isn't you, there MOTHER!!
LISA...usually when kids act that way it's because they are afraid. in your sons case, fear of abandonment? he probably doesn't understand fully why his parents split and is angry about the whole thing. lashing out is the only way he can express himself. please give your son more love than you are giving to him now. that's all he needs. however don't forget to let him know you're still his mom. i remember being like him when i was 10.
LISA...not saying you don't give hime love. you obviously do, since you're asking for help. sometimes though, kids need to be shown MORE. you know what i mean. and pray with him. show him you will always be there for him.
Nicole..i think she does have her priorities straight. If you believe in God, He does come first. Since HE was the one who blessed you with children. Your children are gifts from Him, and in turn, what you and your children BECOME, are gifts back to Him. If anything the husband should come last. haha.
Save on Free Used Child Apparel at http://www.swaphandmedowns.com
Tito-
Tito-
I cannot leave my 15-yr old daughter alone. I do not trust her. She smiles to me, says I love you, etc.. But everything she writes in her diary is I HATE MY MOM. Of course, she does not know that I am reading it, but how would I know she has this hate?? And she never explains why...
I would like to thank all these mothers that take the time to write about their stories,
im doin a report on working moms...so can u please send me some info...thank you
I just have one thing to say if your a single mom of young boy you can't always that it off . So to the gals that said yhat question made her sick let me tell you one thing.I't does not pay the bills. I f you take off all the time. SO OF US ARE WORKING TO SUPPORT YOU IT SOUNDS LIke.
I am very fond of all mothers out there no on really understands how hard it is to raise a child. All women are great mothers, but being a great mom isnt only about bringing food to the table but is about showing your love, and just being there when you are needed. so dont always think about work but also think that you have a son/dauther at home wating, for just a simple hug and the sound of three little words.
This site if for mothers that work outside the home. Why do stay at homes feel like they need to add their two cents worth? Working mothers are trying to help one another, solve issues that are unique to us, and be a sounding board. For all stay at home mothers that seem to feel the need to add their thoughts: find someone else to help you with your insecurities - this site is not for you.
Family | Career | Art of Juggling | Single Moms | Health
Copyright © 2000 Working Moms Refuge. |
