Working Moms Refuge | Single Moms

Family
Career
Art of Juggling
Single Moms
Dad's Voice
News
Health
Bookshelf
Recipes
Sports Mom

Archives
Contact Us

Discussion Lists
Wisdom of Mothers
Resources

Being Prepared

by Donna Langlois

One of the most important things we can do for our children is to have a will prepared. It is important that you state clearly in your will who you would like to care for your child(ren) should something happen to you. This is especially important if the Father is not capable of raising the children or if you want to protect any funds you leave your children.

I recently prepared a will using some legal software. There are many applications available. A trip to your local office supply store should provide you with several applications to choose from. Your local library may even have one to check out. Remember that laws are sometimes specific to particular states and be sure that you purchase a program with options available that will allow modification to your state's laws.

If you don't feel comfortable preparing your own will, you can have one prepared by a lawyer or local Legal Aide Society for a relatively small fee. Be sure to check with your bank or credit union or even an employee assistance program through your work, if available, as many of these organizations now provide free services to prepare a will.

Be sure you discuss your wishes with the individual(s) you select as guardian and executor. This individual should be prepared and able to accept the responsibilities; some individuals, no matter how able you may think them, may not be willing to accept this responsibility. You should also list the executor as your beneficiary on accounts and policies to ensure a smooth transition should it ever be necessary.

Things I felt were important to include my in will were the following:

Name and address of the guardian for my son.
Name and address of the executor of my estate.
Name and address of the trustee for my son's trust.
List of specific bequests from my estate.
Any specific instructions regarding how you wish to have your child(ren) raised.
My personal burial wishes.

In addition to the customary items included in a will you might consider attaching any exhibits you feel necessary. If the other parent is unfit you should attach evidence. You might attach a copy of any journal you keep to log incidents. It was important to me to include any items I felt would be necessary to defend my choice of guardian should my will be contested. Understand that a judge can still override your will and give custody to the surviving biological parent or other relatives by law, but by preparing a will with thorough documentation, you at least let your wishes be known and a judge will have to take your will and documentation into consideration in determining what is best for the child(ren).

I am not a lawyer. I merely felt it important to have something in writing to protect my son. I had my will signed by two witnesses and notarized. The guardian has the original as well as a copy of my son's birth certificate and social security card. In addition, you should provide the executor of the estate a copy of the will as well as a list and possibly copies of all accounts, insurance policies, and important documents or location and key to a safe deposit box if you use one for these documents. Update these lists and documents annually, providing new copies as changes are made.

I think it's important to take care of these matters, difficult though it may be, so that our children are protected legally should we be unable to care for them. Without a will, lives can be left in limbo and valuable assets that should be providing for your children may be lost. Plan ahead now.

Donna Langlois is a single mother of an 11-year-old boy. She has recently completed her MBA and the age of 41, works as an information systems auditor.