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Book Review: Whining: Three Steps to Stopping It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start

Author: Audrey Ricker, Ph.D., and Carolyn Crowder, Ph.D

Review by Susan Farrell

"Kids of all ages know that whining works." On top of that, it's contagious. Yes, a parent's nightmare and facts we hate to admit to ourselves. And the parenting problem that is probably the most trying on parental nerves ... So what do you do to change it?

Drs. Audrey Ricker and Carolyn Crowder, in their book Whining: Three Steps to Stopping It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start, address this problem.

From whimpers and demands, whining can lead to full-blown tantrums and outright defiant arguments. Drs. Ricker and Crowder discuss the different types of whines, how to react to whining, as well as the consequences of how parents reacting.

As single moms, we are often so tired and guilt-laden, that sometimes the easiest reaction is to just give in to the whining. However, this book points out exactly why we should NEVER do this. Although some children may outgrow the whining, this is the exception, not the rule, and the consequences of not dealing with the problem and teaching your children why whining won't work, can be much worse than just more whining. It can lead to self-pity, rebellion, destructive behavior, poor self-esteem and unsatisfying social relationships later on in the life of the child.

Rather than give in, the authors tell us we have three options:

removal (if in public)

ignoring (if at home)

teach that whining will result in an automatic "No."

Drs. Ricker and Crowder also address the types of whines; why negotiating and giving in never work and what you should do instead; what kids are really trying to tell you when they whine; keeping it in perspective; making consequences work; assertive communication; and how to clearly and respectfully teach your child what's important to you and why whining will not work.

Additionally, the back of the book contains a workbook and a progress diary for your use. Audrey Ricker, PhD, and Carolyn Crowder, PhD are also the authors of Backtalk, certainly next on my list of parenting books to read since I now have two teenagers!

Susan Farrell is the single mother of two teenagers. Her many hobbies include writing, reading, gardening, cooking, traveling and camping, and trying new things with her children. Her motto: "Live, love, laugh." Life's just too short not to.