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The Women Who Made Me Who I Am

by Susan Farrell

My mother gave birth to me, bringing me kicking and screaming into this world. Unbeknownst to me, there were to be many challenges and disappointments along the roads to achieving goals and dreams. My mother, a Japanese war-bride, herself faced many challenges in her life, and developed an inner strength that she passed on to all three of her daughters, a strength that has helped make us who we are today.

It was from my mother that I learned how to deal with prejudism. When I was 11, we lived in Selma, Alabama, about as close the cold-heart of prejudism as one can get. Although we lived on a military base, I dealt with prejudism on a daily basis because I was of Oriental descent. My mother taught me to be proud of my heritage and how to intelligently, yet calmly respond to the prejudicial comments schoolmates and neighbors would sometimes throw my way. From this experience I learned to be independent, to not follow a crowd, and to calmly and intelligently stand my ground.

To my mother, Chieko Kitamata Cox, I say "Thank you."

Although I was not brought up in a religious household, I acquired a strong faith in God from my oldest sister. I remember being in 3rd grade when she taught me to memorize John 3:16, as well as other verses and stories from the Bible.

This same sister, in my adult life, taught me to surround myself with positive people and to make positive changes in my life. This has been one of the greatest lessons I have learned in my life.

To my sister, Nancy Farrell, I say "Thank you."

Eleanor Roosevelt was an incredible woman. I recall reading a biography about her several years ago, while going through some difficult times in my life. Although I have never been able to remember the exact quote, the lesson I learned from her, I summarize and express as such: No one can make me feel anything unless I let them. This thought helped me through many difficult times, helping me to maintain or regain control over my emotions and reactions.

Another biography that influenced my life was that of Mother Teresa. The impact this woman had upon the world was tremendous, but the most profound thought that she shared was when she was asked how she did so much and helped so many. Her reply was that it was simply by helping one person at a time. When she finished helping that one person, she went on her way and then there was another to help, so she did; and so on. If only we could each take such an approach to life, donšt you think?

These women helped to mold me into the woman I am today, and continue to influence me as I grow and learn even more. In return recognition and praise of them, I too hope to help others and be a positive influence to other women in life. As a Girl Scout Leader and Day Camp Director, Išve had the opportunity to work with girls of various ages. I have memories that I will always treasure from those experiences, one very precious one being when a girl who was "graduating" from our Girl Scout troop gave me a thank you gift which she had hand-embroidered herself. It said, "Thank you for touching my life."

The greatest lesson I have learned from those who have so positively influenced my life is that I too want to be a positive influence in the lives of others whether it be by working with childrenšs groups, by providing Web sites which help single moms and others, or simply by saying, "Good Morning!" with a smile to a passerby.

Just as Mother Teresa did, we can each make a difference in the world one person at a time. We do so by being a friend; by helping where there is a need and contributing in whatever way we can; by being friendly; even simply by sharing a smile ... after all, they say it is contagious.

As we pay tribute this month to Women all over the world, I hope we will each remember the lessons wešve learned from them and what is the greatest complement of all that we can pay to each of them: to emulate them and hopefully positively influence the lives of others, too.

Susan Farrell is a single mom who also is an editor and writer for Moms Refuge's Single Moms section and www.seekingserendipity.com. She has worked with various childrenšs and womenšs organizations over the years, hoping to achieve her goal above. Her motto: Live, Love, Laugh. After all, lifešs just too short not to.