Book Review: Crazy Time by Abigail Trafford

Review by Susan Farrell

Nearly eight years ago, as I was going through a chaotic divorce, a counselor recommended I read this book. It was blunt, straight to the point, and an eye opener. It helped me end the period of sobbing and fear and feeling of no control over my life and emotions, and begin healing and moving forward in life.

Abigail Trafford takes you through the steps of divorce, beginning with the marriage and realization that it isn't working, through separation and the divorce, and on to beginning a new life. That journey however, is not an easy one, and is filled with various steps and obstacles to overcome. Trafford covers the realizations, the fighting, the power and possession games, the unanswered questions, and the "ghosts" that seem to sometimes haunt your every waking and sleeping hour.

Trafford describes this stage perfectly:

This is Crazy Time. It starts when you separate and usually lasts about two years. It's a time when your emotions take on a life of their own and you swing back and forth between wild euphoria and violent anger, ambivalence and deep depression, extreme timidity and rash actions. You are not yourself. Who are you? At times you don't want to know.

She takes you past this stage and onward to falling in love again, and even crashing again. The stages of relief/disbelief, shock, anger, ambivalence, depression, and emergence of self are covered in individual chapters. She also covers sex, love, remarriage, re-divorce, and marrying "for good".

This book is wonderful for any woman who is thinking of divorce or separation or experiencing either, though it may be hard to believe all that lies ahead for them, as it was for me when I first read the book. In hindsight, it was a blessing as it was so blunt and honest with me in a way that I couldn't be with myself. For those who are already divorced and are still hurting and/or going through the confusion and "lost" feelings, I highly recommend this book to help you find closure and move forward. It's the eye opener and kick in the pants we all need sometimes to help us deal with life, stand up straight and tall and walk forward holding our head high once again in control of our lives and emotions.

Susan Farrell is the single mother of two teenagers. Her many hobbies include writing, reading, gardening, cooking, traveling and camping, and trying new things with her children. Her motto: "Live, love, laugh." Life's just too short not to.

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