Juggling Workshop
Working Moms' Q & A

Here are past Juggling Workshop columns:

• I am a full-time working mother of a wonderful, happy one-year old. He receives good care in a family day care home and I spend quality time with him every chance I get - in the evenings and weekends. I don't do many household chores until after he is asleep or on my lunch hour and if I do make dinner for my husband and I, it's quick 10-minute prep meals so I don't take time away from my son. I even get to work from home an average of once a week and pick him up from daycare early, if possible. So why do I still feel guilty and miss my son terribly? How can I cope better?
  
  
• Even though my boss knows I can work from home effectively, he is afraid of what other employees will say or ask for if he makes an "exception" for me. I am in a supervisory role over 4 employees who work well on their own and call me at home if there is a problem. I just want to work 1 day from home and do this anyway about every other week. Maybe he is ok with it as long as it is not official or regular days? What can I say to him that will make him feel more at ease about this?
  
  
• Why do I always yell?? I have twin boys age 7 and all they do is whine also have a 5 year old daughter who is ok at times I work full time, mu husband does to but my work does not stop at 4:00 It is the same come home, cook,landry etc... He helps sometime?? but I feel that I yell so much and have no control. What do you do???
  
  
• I am so glad to find your website. I am a 37-year-old working mother with two wonderful children ages 12 and 6. I GET TIRED!!! Please tell me how in heaven's name you are supposed to hold a full-time job, take the children to their sports events and music lessons, etc. and still be the "nice person" that everyone expects you to be. I recently read the book FASCINATING WOMANHOOD. I would love to hear some comments on this. Any encouragement at all would be nice.
  
  
• I've been divorced for 4 years, have 4 sons (ages 7, 10, 13, 15) My work schedule is tough -- over 50 hrs a week, I go to school one night a week. I haven't any family to help out. Thankfully, I have wonderful friends who are very understanding. My problem is the gentleman that I've been dating for 2 1/2 years. He has never been married (he is in his late 40's) and of course no children. He simply can't relate to what I have to go through on a daily basis. I don't know how to get through to him that instead of taking stress off of me, he tends to pile it on even more. Are there any books on the subject of Single mothers and stress, that I might be able to pass on to him?
  
  
• I recently re-entered the work force after being a stay-at-home, and I have a contract (temporary) position that could go on indefinitely. However, I have a lot of job stress mainly related to my contract status. Today while home with my kids I was very distracted with my job concerns, and I felt it detracted from our day together. Do you have some advice for handling job stress so that it doesn't affect the precious, limited time we have to spend with our children?
  
  
• How do i fit it all in as it stands now I am still doing dishes at 10 pm, I have three children and I work from home. Help.
  
  
• My daughter is three and a half years old and is still not potty trained. I have tried encouraging her which hasn't worked. I have also tried the other approach totally ignoring the topic and that hasn't worked. Occasionally she will go totally on her own at my baby sitter's house but most of the time will not. Of course I feel like she is delayed because I work full time and am not home with her during the day. what do you think? Help!
  
  
• How do you know when it's time to go to counseling with your child? Have been having same problem and not getting any positive results; this has become major issue and am becoming increasingly upset.
  
  
• I've been back at work for 2 months since the birth of my 2nd child. My nearly 3-year old is in a new home day care setting and still is crying every morning and saying he doesn't like it. I am very happy with the caregiver, but how long will it take for my son to be happy there? If he is still unhappy after a certain time, should I look for someone else?
  
  
• I am a working mother in a dead-end job. I don't make enough money, and I don't have a good enough education to do any better. I have 3 girls: two of them are 6, almost 7, and the other one is 15 months. I want to go back to school for just 2 nights a week. My husband is very supportive of the idea, but how can I have any quality time with the girls, if I'm always gone? Give me some advice on making the time I have with them quality time, and have time for my studies, too.
  
  
• I've been an at-home mom for 10 years and I want to go back to work but have terrible anxiety about it. I envision finally having a career (I earned a bachelor's degree since I have been home), but I also fear that our homelife will become chaotic, the kids will feel lonely and resentful, and I will regret my decision. Incidentally, my chilren are ages 3, 8 and 10. Any advice about how to make this transition from at-home mom to working mom after so many years?
  
  
• My son is 19 months old. Both my husband and I work full-time. My son is watched by my Mom 5 days a week. When we leave him off in the morning he could care less. He doesn't want to kiss us and seems like he doesn't care if we leave, when we come to pick him up and screams and crys and doesn't want to go with us. It is tearing me apart.
  
  
• Is there any research done to prove that children of working moms are just as happy and well-adjusted as children of stay at-home moms or moms who work part time? I recently went back to work full time and am feeling tremendous guilt about being a horrible mom!
  
  
• I need suggestions on how to create a job share environment. I am a full-time wife, mother, and social worker. My career is my passion and my family is the love of my life, so I need to blend them better.
  
  
• This has been a bad year for sick kids, I ended up going to work with a bad strep infection because I've used up all my sick days and (I teach) I get docked $156.00 per day for any time missed between now and the end of the school year. My question is this--how do you find out about sick child care in your area. I've checked around--we recently moved to a different state and I have no family near by--nobody seems to know if anything like that is available in this area.
  
  
• I always feel guilty. I have been working full time for about a year now. My youngest daughter is 4. And she is in pre-school 3 days a week, and I am very lucky I have a wonderful Grandma that babysits the rest of the days untill 5:00 P.M. But I can't seem to get anything done. And I sincerly miss my daughters when I'm at work. I feel very torn apart. Because I realy like my job. But I love my Girls. HELP
  
  
• I have been working in the high-stress, demanding world of advertising for many years. Despite the pressure, I loved my work and thrived in it. However, since the birth of my son six months ago, I have decided to "checkout" for a while, working freelance from home while mothering him. Well - I cannot believe the flak I'm getting from women (with and without kids) who work in the industry. I know these women are highly ambitious, and so am I, to a degree, but I had no idea this was such a prickly issue. How do you recommend I respond to these pro-daycare women who believe I'm flushing my career down the toilet? I'm starting to second-guess my decision.
  
  
• I have worked full time since I graduated from high school. I have two children 8 & 12 and find I am busier now than when they were babies. My family is my priority. I work for a large financial institution that pushes for, praises, and rewards employees who involve themselves in the community outside of work time. If you are a working mother you know that there is little spare time. I would rather go home cook my family a decent meal and help my kids with their homework than pick up fast food, tell them goodbye and see them the next morning. When I am at work I give 100% to my job and my clients and feel I do a good job. But when it comes time to my free time, I feel it should be my free time to do with as I please. I should not be made to feel disloyal to my corporation because I like to be with my husband and children. I feel the pressure, but I refuse to give up my values. Does anyone feel the same way?
  
  
• Before the birth of my son, I was selected for a job that is FABULOUS! I love what I do and believe I make a difference in people's lives. Since my son was born, I still love my job and can't envision ever being a stay at home parent. I love my child but I also love my job. How can I explain this to people who assume I would rather stay home than work?
  
  
• I'm looking for information on working parents and sick kids. When the child is ill, do the parents go to work? Who stays home? And single parents, what do they do ? how many children are left home alone? How many days a year average do people loose from work due to having to stay homewith an ill child?
  
  
• I am a single mother working full-time. I am 25 and I have a ten year old son. I work at a Juvenile Secure Treatment Unit for male juvenile sex offenders. I'm not married, but have been seeing a gentlemen for over 6 years. I just wanted to know how do you cope with how fast life is passing by, how can you cope with the stress of working, and trying to do the job alone. If you could help me or give me some advice that would really be nice.
  
  
• I am a fulltime working mother and a very frustrated one at that. My desire is to be a fulltime mom and take care of a 1 year old and a 3 year old. I am so exhausted at the end of the work day that I find it hard to give of my best to my family. I have a husband who is very supportive and helpful and we are in the process of selling our home in order for me to be able to stay at home. No buyers yet after 15 months on the market....in the meantime I am eager for some tips, helpful coping mechanisms or just the support of someone who is or has been through the same situation. I know I am not the only mother who has ever gone through this type of situation. any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thanx!!!
  
  
• I Love My Work!
  How long is it going to take everybody to catch up to the fact that a lot of women love to work? Sometimes the hardest thing about being a mother and a wife who works is just getting treated like an equal. Do you have that problem too? How do you handle it?