Jugglers Workshop | All About Time
Juggling Workshop
Working Moms' Q & A
The daily tug-of-war between your career and your kids can leave you torn between the two worlds. Where do you turn? The Juggling Workshop! Ask questions and share suggestions about juggling work and family.
This week's question:
I am a full-time working mother of a wonderful, happy one-year old. He receives good care in a family day care home and I spend quality time with him every chance I get - in the evenings and weekends. I don't do many household chores until after he is asleep or on my lunch hour and if I do make dinner for my husband and I, it's quick 10-minute prep meals so I don't take time away from my son. I even get to work from home an average of once a week and pick him up from daycare early, if possible. So why do I still feel guilty and miss my son terribly? How can I cope better?
-- Cecelia
Cecelia,
Sounds to me like you don't have that much to feel guilty about. The
reality is you miss being with your baby, and that's normal. Try thinking
about all the things you're doing in a positive light. Think about how much
fun you have when you are with him. Think about the work you are doing when
you are away from him as helping to pay for his future. Think about how
great it is you can work from home one day a week and pick him up early.
This may seem simplistic, but we're often just too hard on ourselves for not
being able to do more. Sometimes it's a good idea just to take stock of all
the things you ARE accomplishing. You'll probably find out you are doing a
great job as a mom, a career woman and a wife under the circumstances.
Hope this helps.
Working together we can make a difference.
-- Cathy
Dear Cecelia:
Why wouldn't you miss your son? You love him and you love being a mom.
There's no point denying the reality of your emotion. That might help you
feel less guilty--remember, you miss him, but he might not miss you.
You are a wonderful mother. You've gotten the best care you can for your
son, who is happy. You are with him whenever you can be. Please don't feel
guilty! All you can do is your best.
Does your husband engage in quality time with you and your son as well?
Does he take responsibility for running your home? Is he supportive of your
career? Does he help you get some time alone to relax when you need it?
Perhaps you need to talk about the way you share your lives. Support from a
loving spouse can work wonders if you need help coping.
All best,
-- Marion
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