Jugglers Workshop | All About Time
Juggling Workshop
Working Moms' Q & A
The daily tug-of-war between your career and your kids can leave you torn between the two worlds. Where do you turn? The Juggling Workshop! Ask questions and share suggestions about juggling work and family.
This week's question:
My question is... how do i fit it all in as it stands now I am still doing dishes at 10 pm, I have three children and I work from home. Help.
-- Helen
Helen,
Sometimes working at home makes it even harder to "fit it all in". Often
people think because you work from home you have lots of time on your hands.
Fat chance! You didn't say how old your children are, so here are a couple
of suggestions for young children and those who can more or less fend for
themselves.
Two of the keys to working from home and having a life are getting organized
and having some time for yourself so you can do your work. Another is not
trying to do everything yourself.
How to get organized:
-
Make a list of all the things you have to do and prioritize them. As I've
said before, use the triage approach -- do the most important things first
and let the rest come. Try to do this on a daily basis and move the things
that don't get done on to the next day.
-
If your children are young, find a way to keep them busy while you have
time to work without interruption. For example, one woman I know paid a
12-year-old neighbor come and play with her 2-year-old daughter afterschool
for several hours. Then she'd take the girl to her home for dinner. It
gave the mom 3 hours of relatively uninterrupted worktime. And girls who
are 11-13 are usually responsible enough to take care of younger kids as
long as they're in a safe environment, i.e., your home. Other work-at-home
moms put their kids in daycare for a few hours a day or a few days a week.
-
If your children are older, get them to pitch in. I'm a firm believer in
giving children responsibilities as soon as they can handle them. Five and
6-year olds can pick up their own toys, help fold the laundry, etc. Make up
a list of household tasks with the kids participating and divide them up.
Post it on the refrigerator and put a gold star after each task that's
completed. If some are less fun than others, rotate the jobs each week.
Make it a family thing and you'll get peer pressure from the kids to make
sure their siblings get stars too. Maybe have a special treat for whoever
gets all their stars first for the week. Make sure your husband has his
assignments too, and DO NOT forget his gold stars. I am not kidding. It helps.
These are just some things to get you started. And no matter how organized
you ultimately get, there will still be some nights when you're doing the
dishes at 10 p.m. Hopefully, not as many as now.
Working together we can make a difference.
-- Cathy
The first thing you need to realize, is that you CAN'T fit it all
in. Then, start delegating: Make sure your husband does his 50%
share of the childcare and housework, and encourage your children
to be as self sufficient as possible, depending on their ages.
-- Liv
Helen,
It sounds like you are doing pretty great to get the dishes
done by 10pm! ;-) (Mine often wait until the next morning
(gasp!) With everything we've got going on in our lives
these days, all the demands and expectations, DON'T be hard
on yourself. Focus more on what you CAN do and celebrate
that, rather than what you 'should' or 'want' to do.
I think when we face it, that just not everything is going
to get done, we learn to focus on the most important things
(like time with the kids!) and let the other stuff GO...
Who said the dishes have to be done by a certain time?! ;-)
Lots of Love,
-- Sherri
The only way I stay ahead of the game (and I work outside the home
and have a one year old son and a husband who works 12 hours a day)
is to break up the chores over the week. Write down a list of the
chores that need to be done every week and every day. Instead of
doing chores because you can't stand the clutter or mess anymore
(that's how I used to do it) designate each evening of the week for
a particular chore.... i.e. Monday you clean bathrooms, Tuesday you
vacuum, Wednesday you dust, Thursday you do a full mop of the
kitchen floor, Friday you do windows, Saturday you do running around
chores etc. Laundry, I try to do one load each night (I can toss
them in while making dinner and then dry and fold when the dishes
are done while I'm watching the tv or listening to music).
There will always be daily spot cleaning chores...a quick sweep of
the kitchen is done after the dishes, and I will do a spot wipe of
the floor then. My dh gives our son a bath, and we both change
diapers and feed him dinner.
You didn't say how old your kids are....are there little chores they
can help with? Putting away laundry, stacking dirty dishes,
emptying the dishwasher, sweeping, picking up toys, etc. All kids
should have a chore list based on their ability.
Most important for me, though, is that between the time I get home
at 4:30 (I asked for flex time at work so I could have more "awake"
hours with my son) until 6:30 when I start dinner, is my son's and my
playtime. I have a strict NO CHORES rule during that time....sure,
it means I have to cram a lot into the period after dinner (when
it's my DH's & my son's play/bath time) and bed, but it's worth it to
me to have that uninterrupted play time with him. And Sunday is our
family day, where we do whatever together and rest up from the week.
Frankly, my house isn't as clean as it used to be, and at first,
this bugged me very much....but I've learned to live with a little
more clutter than I used to. It's worth it to have that special
time with my little man every night!
-- Lisa
I have three children, all under the age of 8. The best thing I did was
to make a schedule (a flexible one, of course!!).
And now since it is so beautiful outside, I've decided to work from 8 am
until noon/1 p.m. I also do some work at night once the kids are in bed.
And if my housework doesn't get done, oh well...it's not going anywhere
(although I wish the mess would grow legs and walk away!!)
-- Marla
I have decided that my house is not going to be Martha Stewart clean and decorated. My kids are expected to pitch in and help, and so is my husband. (It took years of practice to get him to do his share!)
I do not have a designer perfect home, and *gasp* you will definitely fid some dirtydishes and dust bunnies around here without looking for too long. The carpet needs cleaned, the dog needs a bath, and I need to finish planting my garden. But, my home is loving, could pass a health inspection (most of the time), my kids do wel in school,they are happy and healthy, and guess where all of their friends want to hang out?
We don't yell about spills or handprints here. Someday, they will be gone, the clutter of toys and coloring books will be gone too, and no mopre slamming doors all day long. I will truly miss it.
Do the best you can......work, spend time with your kids, give them responsibilities, and get on with life - it's too precious to waste!
-- Dawn
Dishes were just one of the many things that I
USED to stress about. With 2 children (4 and 1)
it's just not important enough to worry about
until AFTER they have gone to bed. Lately,
though, we've used alot of paper plates
(conflicts with the environmental side of me).
As far as a clean house... oh well. It's not
really a big mess (you learn to adjust your
standards of neatness) and I have a housecleaner
come in every other week.
-- Emily
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