My son is 3 1/2 (Jan 95), I am a work-at-home mom, and he has JUST started wearing Big Boy Undies full-time successfully, except at night, which we are working on.

I started stressing out about it about the time he turned 3-- I had bought into the concept that they would just DO IT in their own time and not to push, but then I started getting nervous... Well, it really did happen in his own time, and he was pretty much in control. We encouraged him, and enlisted the help of his caregivers (Grammy and Kid's Day Out). We never got into sitting him on the toilet periodically through the day or constantly reminding him or getting him up in the night (I'm still not going to do that). We did do a "gold star for going potty" thing (putting the star(s) on the family calendar), but we only had to do that for about three days.

I guess just like for us adults, children need to be self- motivated, rather than pushed. I know it sounds 'easy' now, and I'm kind of surprised, actually, but it really did just happen--and we're all better off for not having made it into a huge issue or conflict.

When it gets tough, just remember -- you don't know many 18-yr-olds out there that wear diapers...it'll happen!! ;-)

Lots of Love,
-- Sherri

I think it's important to remember that all children are individuals. My son (who turned 3 a couple of days ago) still uses diapers a lot. We've just started a "campaign" with the daycare people to get him potty trained, partly based on the statement that now when he's 3 he's a big boy and big enough to go to the toilet. (NOT too big to use diapers, I don't want him to be ashamed)

He has been early in most other development areas, so I suppose he hasn't had the time to evolve in this area... We've also had a very long and cold winter this year and our day care center is very outdoors-oriented. That's another reason why we and the day care personnel have kept the diapers through the winter, wet beaver-nylon overalls are no fun. In July he will get a little sibling and we would be happy to get him off diapers (and surprise puddles...) by then, but I'm quite sure there will be a relapse when the baby comes.

It seems your daughter has the physical capacity to hold urine and feel when it's time to go, so it's probably just a matter of time. How does your babysitter feel about this? Does he/she actively work on this issue?

What do you mean "Of course I feel like she is delayed because I work full time"?! Working full time, keeping home and family running (with everyone in the family participating in their own capacity) is still hard. There's no need to add to the burden by feeling guilty for not living the life of women in the 50s.
-- Jorun

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