Linda,

Have you ever asked your son why he doesn't like it?

At 3 years old he may be able to explain it to you if you ask in a non-threatening way. Don't ask directly, "What don't you like about daycare." Rather ask about his day..."what he did today" and then for each event ask if it was fun or not. And slowly explore his feelings. Maybe ask him to draw what he likes about daycare and then have him explain the picture and ask him to draw what he doesn't like and then ask him to explain.

In what way are you 'very happy' with the caregiver, if your son has been crying for 2 months, saying he doesn't like it. I don't know if something is wrong with your caregiver or the situation at daycare but you do need to check this out so you can rule it out. Have you taken the standard precautions of dropping in unannounced at odd times of the day on numerous days? Have you considered observing from afar (from another room or from outside) for a day? Maybe its another child creating the discomfort and not the daycare provider.

When you pick him up does he act differently? Does he seem to be having so much fun that he doesn't want to leave or is he still anxious to get out of there? If he appears to be having fun later in the day then it is possibly a stage where he is still getting comfortable with the idea of separating from Mom in the mornings. My son did that at 3 still -- cried at seeing Mommy leave but then cried in the afternoon that he didn't want to leave the daycare. Transitions were just a problem time.

But if your child is not happy about daycare at all times during the day then it is likely time you listened and looked for a different situation for him.

We really need to listen to our children, if they say they 'don't like it', they usually have a good reason, they just don't have the vocabulary to go more into details.

Together we can make a difference.

My son attends a Kid's Day Out program two mornings a week at a local church. He has been going since he was about 1 1/2. (He's 3 1/2 now). We recently went through a really weird period when he was so unhappy to go to school--crying and clinging to me when I dropped him off--it was awful!

We approached it carefully, and made some minor changes with the help of the Director (as far as classroom schedule, and who he was spending time with), but it didn't seem to make a difference. He likes school, everything was okay, he just was very unhappy at the separation point. I think he thought that me and his little sister were dropping him off and going out to party or something! ;-)

Anyway -- what worked: By accident, I started letting him take something of his to school, which I had not let him do before (didn't want his things to get lost or broken). First he took his guitar for Music Day, which was a big hit. Then he took his baseball glove/hat/ball for Sports Day. Toy dinosaurs for Dinosaur Day...etc. It seems to have made all the difference for him to carry something into that classroom that is HIS, and something that he can show his teacher when he first goes in (usually they then put the things from home in a safe place until they use them). It's been such a small thing, but it makes him feel important and happy to be there, and I think that's what our job is all about during these early years--building that sense of self-esteem and confidence.

Of course, it kind of hurts now when he doesn't even want me to go in with him, and he's off before I can even get a kiss some- times...Why do they have to grow up so FAST?! (sniff)
-- Sherri

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