Jugglers Workshop | All About Time
Juggling Workshop
Working Moms' Q & A
The daily tug-of-war between your career and your kids can leave you torn between the two worlds. Where do you turn? The Juggling Workshop! Ask questions and share suggestions about juggling work and family.
This month's question:
I always feel guilty. I have been working full time for about a year now. My youngest daughter is 4. And she is in pre-school 3 days a week, and I am very lucky I have a wonderful Grandma that babysits the rest of the days untill 5:00 P.M. But I
can't seem to get anything done. And I sincerly miss my daughters when I'm at
work. I feel very torn apart. Because I realy like my job. But I love my
Girls. HELP
-- Tami
Tami,
It sounds like your youngest daughter is being well-cared for. And that
it's not so much that you feel guilty as it is that you miss being with your
daughters. I think you should consider whether the arrangements you have
made for her between pre-school and her babysitter aren't really the best
thing for her to be doing. And if they are -- at four, she should be
interacting on a regular basis with other children her age -- then you have
nothing to feel guilty about. Besides, you are probably working to bring in
money to support your children and help prepare for their educations, etc.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are probably doing a lot of things right.
Working together we can make a difference.
-- Cathy
As a mother of 3, I also feel the tug of work outside the home vs. stay-at-home.
I know that for me, I would lose all that I am as valued human being if I were forced to stay at home. That is just for me. Unfortunately, I did not realize this until after the 3rd child was born. I now have to wrestle with my children wanting to know why mommy works and daddy stays home!
It is very hard for them to understand that we have chosen to reverse our roles for the time being!
-- anon
I have been a single mother of two for the last 4 years. I stick to a routine religously. Set a routine you and your children can live with. Be sure to allow time for you. My children go to bed at 9:00pm, from 9:00pm to 10:00 is my time for me. I also try to cook in advance. Prepare food ahead of time then it is a matter of heating it up at meal time. Laundry and house cleaning time is hard to find. I've found doing one room a day is easier than trying to find a block of time for the whole house. Try putting a load of laundry in before work each day rather than waiting for the weekend. Good Luck and keep trying it gets better.
-- Brenda
I am a new mom (my son is one). I also feel guilty about working even though I work from home an average of one day a week. But it's good to know I'm not alone.
-- Cecelia
The book "A Mother's Place" addresses the subject well. I thoroughly enjoyed the book - it helped with my guilt!
-- another Mom
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