Jugglers Workshop | All About Time
Juggling Workshop
Working Moms' Q & A
The daily tug-of-war between your career and your kids can leave you torn between the two worlds. Where do you turn? The Juggling Workshop! Ask questions and share suggestions about juggling work and family.
This month's question:
<I am a single mother working full-time.
I am 25 and I have a ten year old son. I work at a
Juvenile Secure Treatment Unit for male juvenile sex offenders. I'm not
married, but have been seeing a gentlemen for over 6 years. I just
wanted to know how do you cope with how fast life is passing by, how can
you cope with the stress of working, and trying to do the job alone. If
you could help me or give me some advice that would really be nice.
-- Ivana
Ivana,
There are no easy answers to coping with being a single mom and working
fulltime. Basically it isn't easy. But here are some things that might help.
- Try to find some other single moms -- at work, at church, in your
neighborhood, through friends -- that you can talk to about the difficulties
you are facing. It really helps to know you are not alone. One single mom
I know got together with two others and rented a nice house together. They
all had children under 8, and by pooling their resources they were able to
get a much nicer place, a built-in support group and a little more flexibility.
- Get to know your neighbors. Sometimes there are older folks living
nearby who'd love to take care of your son sometimes so you can have a
little time to yourself. One of the hardest things about being a single mom
is having so much responsibility and having to do it all yourself. It's
okay to ask for help sometimes.
Hope this helps and that some of the others out there will share their
advice too.
Working together we can make a difference.
-- Cathy Feldman
I know the feeling. I'm 38, with a 6 year old son. And no significant
other. There is frequently this sense of hopelessness that what I
have lived through for the last 5 years isn't ever going to change.
There are two things I try to remember during those times:
1. This too shall pass
2. (paraphrasing)
"Grant that I may change the things I can, accept the things I
can't, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Like a mantra.
I also have a good therapist ;-)
I've also learned to schedule time for me: long baths, doing my nails,
a new book or movie just for me.
Parents give to their children all the time, and need someone to give
to them as well. If you don't have that spouse, do it for yourself.
-- Elizabeth J
I have been a single mother of two for the last 4 years. I stick to a routine religously. Set a routine you and your children can live with. Be sure to allow time for you. My children go to bed at 9:00pm, from 9:00pm to 10:00 is my time for me. I also try to cook in advance. Prepare food ahead of time then it is a matter of heating it up at meal time. Laundry and house cleaning time is hard to find. I've found doing one room a day is easier than trying to find a block of time for the whole house. Try putting a load of laundry in before work each day rather than waiting for the weekend. Good Luck and keep trying it gets better.
-- Brenda
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