Juggling Workshop
Working Moms' Q & A

The daily tug-of-war between your career and your kids can leave you torn between the two worlds. Where do you turn? The Juggling Workshop! Ask questions and share suggestions about juggling work and family.

This week's question:

Lani,

From the description of your job, I'm sure that probably 80% of the customer service that you do most days in on the phone. When you are doing that kind of work, it doesn't matter where you are. Call can be forward invisibly to the client either through a company switchboard or automatically with call-forwarding. And I would imagine that it might even be possible to meet a client at a location if you had to even if you were working from home. So the logistics of it aren't really a problem. The trick is convincing your boss of that.

I would sit down and work out a plan of how you would do it, using the things mentioned above. Do your homework by finding out exactly what is involved in forwarding your calls, etc. Also, if you have networked computers in the office, talk to whoever handles those and find out how you could access them from your home via a modem or the Internet. More than a million people are doing that now in the US alone. Try to figure out what his objections might be and come up with a workaround for those situations. If at all possible, do a trial run to see if it can work, i.e., forwarding calls, linking to the office with your home computer. Then write up a proposal explaining exactly how it would work. Suggest that you do it on a trial basis for 2 months, then assess who it is working.

More and more companies are finding having employees telecommute is a win-win situation, since it lowers their overhead and people who do it usually want it to succeed so they work really hard to make it work. It's important to remember that you are going to have to be the one to make this happen. I know a lot of women who successfully telecommute several days a week.

Good luck.

Working together we can make a difference.


-- Cathy Feldman

Do not give up on the matter. Always a positive attitde when you go in with your boss. Go in and be warm hearted and feel strong about what you are going to summit to him.
-- Kimberly

Lani,

Definately suggest to your boss to try it out for a short period of time, especially if you can transition to home for minimal cost to the company.
Keep in mind though, that working from home is not always so easy - unless you have some childcare arrangements as well.
I work at home two days per week, and find it difficult to get a full 8 hours in - I have a 5 month old, and have to be careful about spending too much time
caring for or playing with her when I need to be working. I often work a few hours on weekends to finish the work I was unable to get to on my days home!
Good luck.
-- Mary Ann

You might try the Women in Technology site http://www.witi.com/index-c.shtml for ideas on how you could make your working at home better for your boss. Look at how it would help him or her and it might be easier to sell the idea. He/she would be able to count on your working on-line even when a child was home sick or when things like that happen. There's also guru.com
-- Cindy

Certainly depending on the amount of calls coming into that office could be an issue for her employer, but since probably what 80% of the inquiries come over the phone, I don't see why she couldn't work out of her home to provide that assistance. I would take the advise given and do the homework to figure out how she would do it from home and present it to my boss. I think there are several companies like the one she works for who are really not seeing the benefit of having employees work from home. With the technology that most people have in their homes now anyway: computers, faxes, second-lines, cell-phones, etc. It really shouldn't be a major issue. It really surprises me how many employers still have the "ball-and-chain" mentality of working in the 21st century. They should at least consider something before turning it down completely.
-- Tracey

We have experienced this struggle between work and family old. That's why my business partner and I created MNS Virtual Opportunities -- virtual office suites for working families(we both have children under 4 yrs.). Beginning June 2001, we will have virtual offices connected to a co-op volunteer child care/drop-in day care available for any user of our virtual offices.

No longer sacrifice your family for your marriage for your career.

To share your opinion about this venture, contact us at leysamn@email.msn.com
-- Leysa

I have twin boys that are 16 months old. I telecommute 2 days per week. At first, I was in a customer service role (Contracts Manager) where I had to be available 5 days per week. I had a phone line put in my home at my cost. I then used this phone line on the 2 days per week that I worked at home. I made sure I was available. I did have a sitter, but for only 5 hours per day. This way I could spend time with the boys in the morning, at lunch, and at the end of the day. Now, I work in a different position for my company. I can work pretty much whatever hours I want. During my last review, my boss told me that I have proven I can work at home and be responsible. Of course, now I want to work part-time 3 days per week and stay home 2 days. I have not convinced them yet to let me do this.
Don't give up. You will never have this time again with your child.
-- Tracy

I am also trying to convince my female boss to let me work part time...Tracy, please let me know how it worked out for you, and your approach. I went back to work a year ago after my son turned 1 year old. I practically cry the whole way to and from work because I feel so guilty leaving him.
-- Roz

Lani,

I can really sympathize you, because I was in a similar position once. My advice as a woman and Mother is to take a hard look at what your goals are...then get out there and make them happen. I know, easier said than done, but if staying home with your child is a must in your life (as it was in mine) then I'll be happy to share with you how I accomlished this, just write to me. I now work
*From My Home* and ANYONE can do the same. Some may have to replace income first, so make that a goal of yours. Start slow, build steadily, when you're ready, leave that ball&chain job and start living :-)

I was Very Luck, because I could leave my job and take the time to find my niche, you're welcome to check out my work (but there is something for everyone out there, it just takes time to find it)
http://TheMomTeam.dk3.com
-- Deborah

I telecommute 2 days per week and bring my son to the babysitter on those days. It helps becuase I don't have the long commute downtown on those days, but my eventual goal is to cut down to part time hours. Telecommuting helps, but for me is still isn't enough.
-- Kathleen

I am in the same line of work and I am also the office manager for a team of 3 agents. When things go wrong at work I feel soley responsible and when my husband starts bringing up when am I going to start coming home earlier I feel soley responsible for not being home even though I stay late at least 3 nights a week on some urgent project. Juggling is hard and we feel pulled at both ends. When I feel I need to leave earlier or take a day away my boss is behind me but, from an office managers stand point I feel I can do this becuase of a part-time employee I have. I actually have two part-timers. One comes in from 9am to 2pm and helps me keep up with the tons of little stuff and I have a runner. He is a high school student that comes in at 3pm after school. He does real well and being responsible for the inventory of signs, lockboxes etc. He delivers signs, flyers and any other running I need him to do. I feel these people are necessary. At $6.50 and hour and only is in for two hours every day the cost for the whole week is minimal and the office seems like it taking care of by each person being responsible for their share and this also basically has the office covered If I feel I need to take off all day or early. Sure I may call from where ever I am to check in on those employees but it gets me out when I need to. I don't know if this will help in your case, but sitting down and having periodic meetings with your boss give you both an opportunity to talk about the office and suggestions for each week on what needs to be done makes it easier to have conversations like this with your boss. Kim.
-- Kim

I am an attorney and work in my firm's litigation department. I work about 10-15 hours a week and I mostly telecommute. I get paid by the billable hour. I go into the office and/or court when I need to, but I mostly work from home when my children (ages 2 1/2 and 1) are sleeping. It is a good situation, but it is not perfect -- there are times I work more than I want. However, I would encourage you to work out a telecommuting plan. You could get a separate line for a computer and/or a different ring for business calls. E-mail is a great way to keep in touch with your employer. I have my e-mail up all day. Telecommuting is certainly the wave of the future. I firmly believe that those employers who are not open to allowing their valuable female employees to work from home are going to suffer because they will lose them. Good luck.
-- Stephanie

You have no idea what a relief it is to find this website! I have an 11 month old daughter, and I telecommute on Wednesdays. The rest of the week I am in the office. Last Friday my boss pulled me in his office and told me that he wants me to start coming in on Wednesdays. I cried all weekend, and held my daughter so tight.

I have been working at home on Wednesday's since I came back to work (6 mints ago). When he talked to me about it I was caught off guard and had no response. Now that I had the weekend to think about it, I have lots to say to him. Now the question is, how do I go about it? I work when I am home... there have been no complaints. I am in the customer service industry, but like most of you 80% of the work is done on the phone. When I get a vmail at work, it automatically calls my cell phone, which I answer and respond to promptly. I have dial in access as well, so emails are always checked.

I cannot give up my Wednesdays! It is my favorite day of the week! It is hard enough taking her to daycare 4 days a week, I cannot imagine doing it 5 days a week.

Lani, how did it go? Have you confronted your boss yet? If so, what technique did you use?

Good luck to all.... Tiffani - If anyone would like to email me direct, please feel free.... tjmitche@fyiimage.com
-- Tiffani

Hire a maid!! It is not a cure all, and not free, but will greatly reduce stress and increase the amount of quality time with your kids! I did this a few months ago, and wish I had done it sooner.
-- Leslie

Lani,
I have a 5 month old daughter and have been back to work for 2 months full time- I do however take wednesday afternoons to "work at home". Basically make up the work super early in the morning or after hours when my daughter is asleep. I found this was accepted by illustrating the fact that many of my colleagus were on airplanes and out of the office on a regular basis and that my working from home one afternoon a week was actually more accessible because of email and cell phone. Also the plain fact that this was just how it had to be. As a property manager I would expect that you spend some time out of the office anyway.. perhaps some of this time it would be economical or efficient to be at home instead of traveling...?

On the topic of work and homelife, anyone else have suggestions on the full time work and mom/wife juggle...?
-- annie

This is wonderful to read. I have been battling with my managers(all of which have no kids) They do not understand. All I am asking for is 2 evenings to work at home for 2hours. The other 36hours I am in the office. Their reasoning is they are old fashioned. This company received an award from a working mothers magazine about how flexible they are with employees. But my managers still wont budge. One said yes but was then pursuaded the other way. Now I am living with stress and anxiety every minute of the day. I'm considering a stress leave. My 3yr and 5yr old will come first no matter what. Unfortunately, I cant just quit my job. 12years with this company now, and financially I just cant leave. I do plan to transfer to another department but that wont be for a while. I am considering going to my boss's manager. He has a 3yr old and might be more flexible. But I'm worried about how I will be treated by my boss later on.
-- Ann

I have 2 sons (Ben 2,5 and Max 11 months). Ever since I got back to work(working with a new company too)work 5 months ago I have been struggling trying to get a balance. I work as Customer Service Manager in a very young company. I have mentioned to my boss that I do not want to continue working full time - he agrees that when the company will be established in about a years time he would be ok to have me work 4 days a week, work from home ... in the meantime though my children are growing and because of my lack of time with them it seems to go too fast.
Yesterday I mentioned to Ben that pretty soon he will now go to kindergarden ( they start at 2.5Y in Belgium) - he looked at me and said 'Great then you will be home every day too'. On another occasion we were having a chat about what we liked best ... he was convinced that I absolutly loved to go to work ... where in reality I just love to spent time with my sons.
I have someone to do my cleaning and ironing. That helps but at the end of the day I only see them for max 3 hours a day during the week and that often makes me feel empty inside. Reading through the experiences of other working moms has helped though - I feel less lonely with my struggle and I feel stronger to push through a well designed telecommuting plan with my boss. Thanks.
-- Nathalie

Instead of asking for one day a week as a "permanent" option, try asking for a "probation period" to try it out - possibly two-three months.

Some employers are uncomfortable not seeing their employees. Have a certain "check-in" time each day, email your to-do list - anything to help your employer feel that you are actually working (which you are, of course!).
-- Paula

I have a 2.5 year old daughter and have been working for the past 2 years first 3 days per week then 4 days per week then 2 days per week and 1 day telecommunting - the pressure from my company to meet the same expectations as the fulltime staff and the agony over juggling work and home life has take a large toll on both my family and my health. Today is my last day at work - I have Quit and am going to spend at least 12 months if not longer at home with my daughter and see if we can have another child. I have planted a vege garden, am going to get 2 chooks and have started to learn how to minimise the household costs so that we can survive just on my husbands salary. Today I feel the best I have felt in 2 years and I know I have made the right decision. I have so much to teach my daughter before I lose her to school 5 days a week !! Lifes good again !!
-- Trisha

Lani -

See if your boss will try it out on an intermittent basis, or casually approach him on a "day at a time" basis. I am an attorney, returned to FT work in Jan when dear son was 3 months old. Since then, I've asked my boss to 'work from home' a couple fridays - and it has averaged out to 2 Fridays/month. Better than no fridays - not as good as every Friday. I figure it's a start. I'm trying to work hard on those days to prove to him that this can be a successful plan before I approach him with something more consistent/permanent.

Sometimes 'old school' men are the hardest to change... but they can and do. If you make yourself invaluable they will eventually realize that they can't afford to replace you...

Hope this helps...? Best of luck - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you... just try to keep smiling and remember you are working for the financial future of your baby
-- Leslie Ann

I am a mother to a 7-months olds baby girl...I just started working full time a month ago. My fist day at work was terrible...i felt like crying the whole day at the office.
I really missed the days when I took care of her 24-7....nowadays,I hired a nanny to look after her when I am working.On working days, I only get to take care/play with her for 3-4 hours.To make matters worse, I work for 6 days per week.
Everyday, I couldn't help feeling guilty for leaving her to work.
At the moment, I had no choice but to earn money for our family's financial stability. Given the choice between work and staying at home, I would certainly choose the latter as I would'nt want to miss out on my child's growth & development.
-- Shida

Stephanie,

I would love more input from you regarding the balancing act of being a lawyer and a mommy. I have a 7.5-year-old and would love to have another child, but don't really know if it's a good idea since as a junior lawyer, baby #2 will probably knock me off the partnership track. Any advice?
-- Kel

Family | Career | Art of Juggling | Single Moms
Dad's Voice | Bookshelf | News | Recipes | Sports Mom | Discussion Lists
Business Directory | The Boards | Wisdom of Mothers | Postcards | Resources
Search | About Us | Contact Us |Advertising on the Refuge | Home

Copyright © 2000   Working Moms Refuge.