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Practical Parenting | Parenting in the 90s | News & Alerts
Pediatrics | Family Matters | Mothering

Parenting in the 90s from Toddlers to Teens

Television: We Can't Just Leave it to Beaver Anymore

by Laurie Segal

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I was going to start this article off with many staggering facts about television, such as how children ages three to 12 watch 27 hours of television a week, viewing 8,000 violent acts and 135 minutes of commercials for junk food, but I'm not going to. I know parents struggle everyday with the two-lettered electronic device and do not need to feel even worse. The perils of TV, like everything else, fall on the shoulders of a parent's ability to monitor situations and set appropriate limits.This is always easier said than done. In an attempt to be as non-judgmental as possible I have compiled a list of suggestions for you to contemplate while debating and mediating the many issues on your own.

Where to Begin

look for "ei" symbols next to program listings and icons that appear on your television screen at the start of children's shows--these indicate the program is considered by the network to be educational and informational

be aware of the programs your children like to watch - it can clue you in as to what their interests are and what they may be curious about

teach children "critical viewing" - "surfing" the stations is not recommended

make a plan limiting when, what, and for how long children can watch television

discuss the "plan" with children prior to, not during a specific conflict,incident or show

explain to children how you arrived at the choices you've made (allow adolescents to negotiate some of the details wit you)

some experts suggest children finish homework, chores and responsibilities before they watch TV; some believe it is better to set a structure in place that works for you and your family

brainstorm with other parents additional ways of tackling difficult issues

call for Rosie O'Donnell's video "Taking Charge of your TV" (800.452.6351)

read Milton Chen's book, The Smart Parent's Guide to KID'S TV

watch for v-chip technology on new 1998 television sets; a V-chip is an electronic device which enables parents to program a set to the level of violence they are willing to have their children view

The Plan

limit television to 1-2 hours per day or less o if school performance and/or grades fall, decrease television viewing time
don't make television the central theme of your home
don't let your child get into the habit of using television to fall asleep
turn off television during meals - avoid using television as background noise for homework, studying and reading be ready with fun alternatives to television
nip television issues in the bud by exposing children to interests,hobbies, music, art, sports, etc....
don't reward children with television
read to children, read to yourself, encourage children to read on their own, be flexible about what children read as long as the material is suitable
if you occasionally use television as a distraction or as a baby-sitter for preschool-aged children, be sure to monitor what they watch and consider using videos or previously taped programs
keep in mind that when children have televisions in their rooms it makes it harder to monitor their viewing
discuss with children ages 8 and under the differences between real and make-believe; explain "acting," "actors," "scripts" and "sets"
beware of cartoons, they can be the most violent programs of all talk about media violence--discuss how TV characters solve their problems--ask children to come up with more realistic, non-violent solutions
consider videotaping a particular program so you can watch it with your child at a convenient time--this also allows you to fast forward through inappropriate material
don't forget to follow through with your "plan" and revise when appropriate
beware of the Jerry Springer Show

Teen Specific

networks tap into an adolescent's desire to be more "grown up" by enticing them with mature content
if teens insist on watching shows that highlight drugs, sex, alcohol and violence, watch with them so you can discuss,
educate and support them through the tough spots
parental comments may appear to fall on deaf ears, but don't despair, most adolescents concede that "sometimes" messages sink in
many teens believe that programs which target the 13-16 year-old audience draw adolescents in by highlighting issues that are more suitable for older audiences
although high school students clearly understand the differences between television and real life, lines are blurred for teens when the "conservative, identifiable characters" on their favorite shows are portrayed as having sex, drinking, or breaking curfew
allowing teens to watch mature programming only once in a while may actually cause more harm than good - some programs aptly portray how difficult issues arise, unfold and are eventually worked through, offering insight and growth over many episodes.

Feel free to call, (516.466.2555), e-mail us (lauries@faceitinc.com) at F.A.C.E. I.T. if your worries persist.

Lynn is a Licensed Psychologist, tenured Professor within the CityUniversity of New York and Adjunct Professor in Applied Psychology at NewYork University. Lynn is an experienced psychotherapist, consultant andproud parent of an adolescent daughter. The focus of her private practiceon Long Island is on adolescent and couples' counseling. Lynn is an expertin the field of girl's and women's development and conducts seminars,workshops and groups on issues related to promoting self-esteem in women.You can contact Lynn at F.A.C.E. I.T. 516.466.2555 or e-mail her atlynnb@faceitinc.com