If you are returning to work or currently working and want to practice AP, you can not go by the "books," as most of them were not written for you! Take the things that you find most important for your relationship with your child and use those. Remember, your time with your child is precious, don't waste it on unimportant things or trying to fit in someone else's" ideals"! I often refer to The Baby Book by Dr. Bill & Martha Sears (my parenting Gods!), and again, their expertise is uplifting. They support AP for everyone, and give good, sound advice for working parents also. You will find situation examples on how Dr. Bill's patients dealt with certain dilemmas, i.e., working and breastfeeding. Which brings me to a very important AP tool. I had to go back to work when my daughter was only seven weeks old, but I exclusively breastfed her until she was six months old. No, I am not a radical "breastfeeding advocate," and I respect anyone's feeding choice. Aside from the marvelous nutritional aspects of Mothersmilk, I have never experienced anything so wonderful and fulfilling (after the first few days of pain, I must admit!) as breastfeeding my daughter. She is 10 months old now, and still today the first thing I do when I get home is feed her. Now it is more for comfort for the both of us than for survival, but even so, I am still her best "Vitamin"! You can go to Breastfeeding for great information and resources. I do suggest that you rent or purchase a high-grade electrical pump, which was one of my best investments. If you can, set a "pump" time at the office, and let your colleagues know your time schedule, and you can avoid frustrating and painful scenes. Not every woman is fortunate enough to be able to pump at work (I pumped in a storage room for months), but pursue this option if possible, you will be highly rewarded! Turn to support groups like "La Leche League" - they can provide materials that will show your employer the benefits of breastfeeding, the main strongpoint being less sick time. I have added new links to sites that support working moms and AP (sorry dads, it seems like the market hasn't recognized your part in this too well yet!). They are a great source for information and relaxation!

Many anti-working advocates state that the term "Quality Time" was invented by working parents, so they feel less guilty about going back to work. I believe there is quality vs. quantity, and I think we all agree that you cannot cram a whole day's worth of love, values and discipline into one hour in the evening or into the weekend. Just as we can agree that it's not just physically staying home that means you are bonding with your child, but that what you do in the time that you have counts. There are so many debates - Mommy-Wars and references concerning the "Work? Yes or No?" subject - that I will not even go into it much further. I want to concentrate more on what you can do as a working parent to maximize the time you have with your child. If you read my first article, you know I am a strong believer in integrating your child into your life. So if you come home from work and don't feel like cooking, do yourself a favor, pack up the family and go out. Don't get a babysitter; take your child with you! I can't stress enough how great my daughter is in public, even when it's late, because we have always taken her with us. My friends know that if we have a dinner date in the evening after work, my daughter comes with me. My time with her is already limited, she enjoys the change of scenery as much as I do and we are together. I have gotten comments that I can only do that because she is alone. I come from a background where couples take all of their kids with them for dinner, functions, movies, parties (you get the picture), whether they have one or five, and each child learns to be social and have manners in public, one by one. The first child learns from the parents and the younger ones learn from him, good and bad! Find other parents that you can relate to. They are the best support! I found a wonderful friend on one of the "Mommy boards." We met with our husbands and babies for dinner at a restaurant (!) at 9 p.m. (!) and had a wonderful time!

Raising a child, working and taking care of the rest of the family can be very trying at times. Before you rip your hair out, start smoking again or book a one-way to Jamaica, here are my favorite sanity tips:

• LEAVE THE HOUSEWORK FOR LATER (it won't go away, I try that all the time!) I am not suggesting you live in a pigsty, but certain things can wait. Enjoy your evening hours. Relax and play with your child, go for a walk or just watch TV together. After a hard days work and frustrating clients, a game of peek-a-boo and a big hug are the perfect tension tamer.
• Don't feel guilty that you have to work. And don't try to compensate by buying things. The thrill of material things fades fast and the children lose respect for money and gifts, since we teach them that they "deserve" something all the time. Just make time for your child when you are home, like I always say: integrate them. On the rare days that I do cook (!) after work, I sit my daughter in the kitchen with me, secured in her chair with a bunch of kitchen utensils, and I talk and sing with her while I am cooking. She loves watching me and I try to make it more interesting by talking to her the whole time, first in German, then in English, just in case those speech cells are awake! I do this whenever I have something to do, only because some things can't wait till bedtime.
• We live and learn, and grow with our responsibilities!