Parenting in the 90s from Toddlers to Teens

Is the Theater Grind Worth Losing Your Mind?

by Laurie Segal

Taking kids to the movies is like childbirth. You forget how painful it was and wind up doing it again and again. After years of taking my kids to the movies, I've come to realize the quality of the film may be important to my children, but the quality of the theater is what determines whether or not I'll have a nervous breakdown.

With this in mind, I created the first official guide of what to look for in your local theaters. Hopefully, the tips listed below will help you survive at the movies with your kids.

• 1. Is the movie theater more than a two minute drive from your h ome? If it is, consider a closer theater. As you know, during the ride to the movies, your kids will ask 800 times, "Can I have my own popcorn or do I have to share it?" A short car ride cuts down on the number of times you have to answer this question.

• 2. When you arrive at the theater, does the ticket collector "look the other way" so that you can smuggle in a decent cup of coffee?

• 3. Are there at least five people working behind the popcorn counter? Fewer than five allows for much too much fighting time in line.

• 4.Does the theater offer the "Super Combo" deal? When your kids spill their soda (and they will spill their soda) you will automatically be entitled to a free refill.

• 5. Once you are seated with $25 dollars worth of popcorn, candy and soda, does the theater have a reasonable number of ceiling tiles? These provide your children with something to count before the previews begin. Without them, the kids have time to change their minds and decide they don't want to be at the movies after all.

• 6. Does the theater you are sitting in have eye level windows on the door? And, are the rest rooms more than five feet away? Once the movie begins, one child will invariably have to go to the bathroom and/or will be frightened or bored. The other child will, of course, want to stay in the theater and watch the film. Perhaps you too have experienced the joy of racing back and forth like a crazed animal, panicking over which child will be stolen first.

  Having eye level windows on the theater door will allow you to see the top of your child's head while racing back and forth. Having the restroom nearby might help lower your palpitation rate. Beware: I know one parent who likes to select seats in the theater that are next to another friendly-looking family. That way, if she has to leave her child alone for a moment, the "kidnappers" will think her child is part of that nice family. Unfortunately, the kidnappers might actually be that friendly looking family.

• 7. When the movie is finally over, does the manager hand out complimentary snow shovels? Why is it that whenever you take your kids to the movies in the winter, when you come out, it's snowing?

  Well, there you have it. The one and only guide to the movie theater. However, my best advice this winter? Stay at home. Let your kids rent tapes. Who knows? You might just get to see the end of one of those films your kids wouldn't sit through.

  
  Feel free to call, (516.466.2555), e-mail us (lauries@faceitinc.com) at F.A.C.E. I.T. if your worries persist.

  Lynn is a Licensed Psychologist, tenured Professor within the City University of New York and Adjunct Professor in Applied Psychology at New York University. Lynn is an experienced psychotherapist, consultant and proud parent of an adolescent daughter. The focus of her private practiceon Long Island is on adolescent and couples' counseling. Lynn is an expert in the field of girl's and women's development and conducts seminars, workshops and groups on issues related to promoting self-esteem in women. You can contact Lynn at F.A.C.E. I.T. 516.466.2555 or e-mail her at lynnb@faceitinc.com

  
  

  

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