Career Coach

Parenthood and Career --
Thinking Hard About the Choices

by Lynn Berger

"Now that I am a parent working, my former position no longer feels right. This is causing me a great deal of anxiety and confusion because I've spent my entire life, up to this point, preparing for my career. I want to be more in control of my professional activities, but still have time to be with my child. I don't think my previous work demands will fit into my new life. My values have shifted; yet I'm not prepared to completely abandon working."

Does this scenario sound familiar? Since parenthood is one of life's milestones it often makes us question our careers to find the appropriate balance between professional and personal needs. Is it really possible to pursue a professional life while beginning to raise a family?

Exploring your present value system, skills, and interests is an excellent way to begin the process of determining the most suitable blend of personal and professional options. Begin by asking yourself: "How can I make my work as well as my personal life more meaningful?"

One's values may be difficult to define and can change over time. Determine which decisions will enable you to get through the day with the greatest ease and fulfillment. For example, what do you value most at this point in your life? The ability to stay home with your child and watch him or her through their daily routines? The security of knowing a steady stream of income will be coming into the home? The power of your old position? The professional status you achieved? The freedom to leave home every day?

Secondly, your skills may be vocationally or avocationally related. For example, you may have done one of the following: organized a fundraising event for your favorite charity; created a beautiful piece of art; worked on an unusual project at work. There is usually a common thread that runs between your achievements. These skills generally are displayed in leadership, interpersonal, artistic, mechanical or organizational endeavors and are highly transferable to many different fields.

Thirdly, how do you begin to identify your interests? During the course of the day, your interests will direct your behavior. For example, when you open your daily newspaper, what section do you choose first? A simple example like this may help you begin to identify where your primary interests lie. There are also many standardized, highly valid and reliable testing instruments (such as the Strong Interest Inventory) that enable one to measure these various components with greater sophistication.

After some self-assessment, think about how you can draw on your strengths and interests professionally now, while still finding time for family? You may not have all the answers immediately. The self-examination process takes time and requires thought; however, from a long-term career and life planning perspective, the rewards greatly outweigh the time and effort involved.

And remember you're not alone !

Mary C wanted and needed to keep her position in the corporate world, but working five days a week was overwhelming to her. I suggested that she ask her employer if she could work four days. She resisted because she anticipated that her employer would never allow her to restructure her work schedule but after a discussion, she began to realize that the company's cost of hiring and training a new employee as well as her contribution to the firm four-fifths of the time was significant. She presented her situation in a very convincing manner, and her employer agreed.

Kathy L, a registered nurse, is very interested in the field of holistic nursing. She also wanted to be home with her son as much as possible. She has now decided to return to school on a part-time basis to establish additional credentials in holistic nursing. In addition, she works part-time in her new field of interest and has more control over her work schedule than she previously had.

Evelyn B realized, after spending time at home, that there was a need for additional child safety products. She also had a talent for new inventions and a great interest in that area. Presently, she is exploring the possibility of patenting a new child safety product.

One's options and alternatives are numerous. Parenthood poses opportunities to make very positive changes if we allow ourselves to make meaningful adjustments in our professional and personal lives. Breaking free from our old value system may at first seem difficult; however, the best news is that, this stage in your life has the potential to be extremely fulfilling and satisfying.

Lynn Berger is a Career & Personal coach who counsels people throughout North America. She specializes in helping individuals during transitional points to make the most of their lives and to feel fulfilled. She is the mother of a five year old son.

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